The Books That Made A Difference - Day 18

In the last five years I've discovered a number of authors whose writing has influenced my thinking and my direction, who inspire me and make me think. This is a partial list, but a significant one - one that I'd like to share. 

Linchpin - When I was still in my corporate job, I didn't know who Seth Godin was. Which in retrospect does not surprise me. Seth is the kind of forward thinker who sparks controversy and discussion. Not generally encouraged in corporatedom.  A friend and former colleague thought I would like him and suggested I read his blog. He was right. I started reading and haven't stopped since. Linchpin was the first book of Seth's books I read. And it wasn't the last. 

The New Rules of Marketing and PR - The first time I heard of David Meerman Scott was at a talk he gave at, ironically, NYU when his book, World Wide Rave came out. I remember being so inspired by his story, his passion and his perspective. Little did I know at the time that a few years into the future I would be teaching at NYU and using The New Rules Of Marketing and PR as a textbook for my students.  The 4th Edition just came out. I highly recommend it for anyone in sales, marketing, public relations or in business for themselves that wants a comprehensive look at what's changed and what you need to do to keep up with the change. It's also an entertaining read. David does not believe in a lot of meaningless jargon or what he calls Gobbledygook and his writing lives up to that.

The War of Art - I found Steve Pressfield through Seth Godin. The title may lead you to believe it is just a book for artists who struggle with getting their art out, but it is applicable for anyone who wants to create something. If the title scares you away try Do The Work in which he addresses the entrepreneur and business person directly. Steve is pure inspiration - the kind of stuff you can read again and again and still say Aha!

Fascinate - Your 7 Triggers to Persuasion and Captivation.  I discovered Sally Hogshead through Nancy Moon of MoonPR who has a reputation for always steering me in the right direction. To say I was fascinated by Sally's take on what fascinates us in today's noisy 24/7 world is an understatement. I've taken her Fascination test (you can too by clicking this link) which offers great insight as to how we fascinate others. 

Unbinding The Heart - It feels like I've known Agapi Stassinopoulos forever, she has become that good a friend to me,  but in truth we met just two years ago prior to the release of her book. While it may not seem like a book with this title fits in with the rest of the list, it does. Corporate culture encourages us to close our heart, exactly the opposite of what is needed for healthy, sustainable businesses. I'm not the only one thinking along those lines. In addition to teaching transformational workshops, Agapi also lectures to forward thinking businesses on the topic. Plus she walks the walk. I like that.

No Excuses - 9 Power Tools for Women - Gloria Feldt is one of the first people I met as I began expanding my networks after the 'divorce.'  I was honored to get an advance copy of No Excuses in 2010. I'm even more honored that she's become a friend and supporter. Every woman should read her book and check out her new venture, Take The Lead Women, where she will be offering leadership training specifically for women.

Control, Alt, Delete - Reboot Your Business, Reboot Your Life.  I just recently discovered Mitch Joel. Once again, the connection was Seth Godin. All I can say is WOW! There are so many gems in this one that I might have more sections highlighted than not. Like this one -

"Ask yourself if you're telling a story worthy of being told or are you telling a story just to get something sold?"

Note there are no novels here, which I read alot of, or raunchy erotica which I've been known to imbibe in. But I do learn from those books as well - about human behavior, character and interactions. However, that is a list for another day.



note: This is Day #18 of a 30 Day Experiment. Here are the details on how it all started.

How To Take The Lead - Day 9

One of the greatest disappointments I had in my corporate career was watching what happened when a woman was put in a high enough position that she might have an influence on the corporate culture.

The first time I was naive and idealistic. The second time, encouraged but ultimately disheartened. I'd like to tell you about the third and fourth but in twenty-five years there wasn't any third or fourth.

Each time it was the same thing. I would be optimistic that the glass gate surrounding the boys' club would be cracked. Women would be given a voice that would be listened to, not simply a seat at the table.

But it never happened. Instead, the newly minted executives didn't lead as women. They led as men. They didn't bring their inherent attributes to the table, their sense of perspective and intuition and attunement. They didn't mentor and support other women. They dug their heels in deep into the patriarchal model they had inherited. They didn't change the corporate politics. They played the existing game. 

My experience was not unique. 

I've heard it again and again and unfortunately I still hear it today. Women telling me the woman they report to does nothing to change things and everything to maintain the status quo. Many will say they find them less reasonable and supportive than any man they ever worked for.  

It saddens me but I understand why.

No one taught them how to lead as women. They were taught to lead as men - by men. 

They didn't know any differently. Plus those positions of power they had arrived at were tenuous. One wrong move and out they go. So instead of really trying to make a difference, they led so as not to  upset the apple cart.

The good news is things are changing. There is something very different in the air today than there was five years ago when I signed those corporate divorce papers.

It seems as if everywhere I turn I meet women who are committed to changing the paradigm and to supporting each other. One of them is Gloria Feldt.

I met Gloria just a few months out of the corporate world at one of the first 85Broads events I ever attended. Gloria has done a lot of amazing things since then. The most recent is co-founding Take The Lead Women, an organization dedicated to preparing, developing, inspiring and propelling women to take their fair and equal share of leadership positions across all sectors by 2025.

One of the things Take The Lead does is teach women  leadership skills and how to access their power so that they can drive the change needed in the workplace. These types of organizations and resources did not exist before. The good news is - they do today.

Interested in learning how to take the lead?

You can sign up for the next Take The Lead webinar right here. Use the code ttlead2 and you'll get a 20% discount.



note: This is Day #9 of a 30 Day Experiment. Here are the details on how it all started.

Women Creating Change: My Conversation with Gloria Feldt

     I met Gloria Feldt at an 85Broads event not long after I first left corporate America. I admit to being a bit in awe that I was getting to eat breakfast with this nationally renowned activist sitting across the table from me. I'm still in awe, but what I discovered that morning is that Gloria is as real as the rest of us. She's powerful, she's passionate, and she knows her stuff. A teen mother from rural Texas, Gloria served as president and CEO of Planned Parenthood from 1996-2005. Today she continues to work towards the betterment of women's lives as an independent commentator on women's issues, politics, media and leadership. She teaches at Arizona State University and serves on the board of the Women's Media Center. Her must read book, No Excuses, 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power has just been released in paperback.
     When given the opportunity to sit down and chat with her I was wise enough to accept. I am honored to share with you my recent conversation. 

A key concept in your book is about changing the meaning of power for women. Can you elaborate?
     Women resist their power in part because we have borne the brunt of the most negative aspects of power for millennia.  Power has been defined as the power over something or someone. I urge women to redefine power in their own minds as the power to—power to accomplish good things in this world, power to thrive as an individual and the power to help others, to make life better fro yourself, your kids, your community, your world.
     Power over is from Mars. Power to is from Venus. Power over is oppressive. Power to is leadership. See what a difference it makes to define your terms?


I like the Mars and Venus analogy!

The idea of a powerful woman is still a frightening prospect to many men. And to some women. Why in 2012, do you think that still is?


     Perhaps you have seen the old Dilbert cartoon: “Change is good. You go first.” Men who are insecure may fear the profound changes that have come from the moves to equalize gender power that you and I regard as simple justice.  This is because they hold the old, outdated “power over” hierarchical model of power in their minds, as opposed to the expansive “power to.”
     Some women might also fear loss of the comfortable safety of rigid gender roles, and the freedom from responsibility to make their own choices. 


You are one of the most well-known and respected feminists out there. How would you define being a feminist today? Is the definition any different than how you would have defined one in 1972?


     Thank you ! 
     The fact that sexism remains rampant in media and cultural norms if not laws should tell us that the job of feminism isn’t finished. Nor are we post-anything. But we are in a new phase.
     Twenty or thirty years ago, women might have thought they had to become men (metaphorically and in their behaviors and even dress) to succeed. Today, it is clear that the world needs what women have to offer--and women are more comfortable being authentically who they are. We learn and get stronger in the doing.
     Feminism has become a dominant social value. Who in 2012 would dare say that girls shouldn’t be educated and aspire to be the CEO rather than the secretary?  I believe this is an amazing moment for women, a hopeful and historic moment—if we make it so. It’s time for women to step up, stand in the power they have, and lead their own dreams. And to understand that change won’t happen by itself. Just because there’s a trend doesn’t mean it will continue without conscious action.
     For example, women’s numbers in Congress went backward in the 2010 elections because women failed to step up and support those who won in swing districts in 2008. That’s what happened after 1992, the last time an election was dubbed “the year of the woman.” In 1994, those women who had tipped the scales stayed home, and we got the Gingrich revolution and many steps back in women’s equality. The 2012 election is upon us and it’s a new opportunity for us to make it The Year of the Woman. Will we do it? The answer is in our hands once again. That hasn’t changed.
     To me, feminism is social justice, and I wouldn’t change the definition. 
   

 In your book you argue that nobody is keeping women from parity except themselves. Yet recently we’ve seen a renewed effort on the part of a segment of our population to quell our reproductive and health care rights. Can you offer your insight?


     I’ve been thrilled to see women break open so many doors during my life, and my decades of activism. But at the rate women are going, it’ll take 70 years to get to parity-and not just in politics! Women hold only 18% of top leadership roles at work too--and that’s not fair, or good for men, women, a balanced family life, or even companies’ return on investment according to McKenzie and Company’s analysis. Yet in spite of cultural barriers that arguably do remain, from the boardroom to the bedroom, no law or structural barrier is holding us women back now, except ourselves.  It is easier to become co-opted by a little success and not hold out for the whole package. Sometimes it is even easier not to have choices. But is “easy” the same as fulfilling? Not to me.
     There are many reasons --external barriers of discrimination and internal barriers of fear and insecurity--but there are no excuses any more. The doors are open; we have to walk through them.
     For example, in politics, women can now raise money as well as men, are more trusted by the voters, and are clearly as capable of putting together strong campaigns. Still, women candidates face media sexism and scrutiny that can be daunting. Hillary Clinton’s cackle, cankles, and cleavage for example. When did you hear a media commentator say about a male candidate that he couldn’t win because voters wouldn’t want to watch him age?
     And what about Rush Limbaugh’s latest outrageous, sexist statements about a young women who merely asked to state her opinion about the need for insurance coverage of contraception?
     This is hardly new.  The opposition to reproductive rights is what it has always been—a desire to control women’s lives through controlling their bodies and their sexuality. The abortion issue has always been just the tip of a much larger ideological iceberg. As we can now see clearly, the opposition also extends to contraception which most people thought was an entirely settled matter, since 99% of Americans use contraception at some time in their lives. 
     Even with all that, the only way to make the change is to make the change. Hillary did that and as a result it is becoming increasingly clear to people that leaders can have breasts and wear turquoise pantsuits. When women run they are now as likely to win as men, but young women are 50% less likely than men to even think about running for office.
     So we have to take the leap. You can’t win if you don’t run. You can’t get the job if you don’t apply or the salary raise if you don’t ask. You might not always get what you ask for, but that is one of the things we need to learn. Being told “no” isn’t the end of the world. Try again.


Many say the Feminist movement, has been invigorated because of the banter and rhetoric of people like Rick Santorum and Rush Limbaugh. Do you agree?


     Yes,  it has been invigorated, but in the breech. It’s great to get angry and get active to oppose something, but we are missing a big, bold agenda to aspire to. I hope that the energy generated by the Limbaughs and Santorums will be used to fuel the next wave of feminist legislation and advocacy for positive changes in society, to “fight forward,” not just to “fight back.”

 Personally my blood starts to boil when I see the pictures of these all white, all male juries discussing birth control. It’s reminiscent of the Inquisition and the Salem Witch trials.  I get so crazy I can barely breathe. What power tool or tools would you suggest women like me can implement in those moments?

     I’d say Power Tool #2, “Define your terms—first before others define them for you” is hardest but the most important here because we have yet to define power on our own terms. We react rather than setting the agenda. I think the current spate of legislation aiming to be equally in-your-face to anti-choice legislators—like requiring a man seeking Viagra to bring his partner in to attest he is impotent and give permission—are one sign that some people are waking up to this.

     And then Power Tool #7: “Create a movement” to get together with your sisters and supportive brothers to make the change you want and leave the retrogrades in the dust.

One of my favorite power tools is “Know Your History.” With women’s history not being taught in the schools, we have generations being raised thinking the freedoms we have today have always been there. Yet it was only 1920 when women were given the right to vote. What can we do to demonstrate how fragile our progress really is? Or have the recent events over who has the right to make decisions concerning a woman’s health and birth control choices brought it all to light?

     I’m so glad you like that power tool! It’s the most often ignored, and therefore we keep having to relearn its lessons.  May I refer you to my ForbesWoman.com post on the importance of knowing our history, and of learning and teaching it proactively since it usually isn’t taught in school?

Of course! Heres is the link:  http://www.forbes.com/sites/gloriafeldt/2012/03/13/wear-the-shirt-and-make-womens-history/   

You write about 9 ways women can embrace their power. Do you have a personal favorite?

     Like my children, I love them all.  But if I had to choose, I’d probably say “Embrace Controversy.”  Because I have had so many wonderful experiences with riding into the wave of controversy and using its energy to propel me or my issues forward. Controversy is a teacher, it gives you a platform, and it forces people to clarify what they think. Which in the end is the only way sustainable social or personal change is made.

If every woman who reads this test-drives just one tool today, which would you offer up that can have the most impact?


     Depends on her needs. That’s why there’s a whole toolbox full!

 To wrap up a la James Lipton… 

      What is your favorite word?           Audacious.

What is your least favorite?            Can’t.

What sound/noise do you love?    My grandsons’ voices.

What sound/noise do you hate?    Too-loud television.

One more question…If you had only six words in which to write your memoir what would they be?

    Convictions to action, love to manifestation.

Gloria Feldt is the author of No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power. Interested in learning more tips and power tools that have worked for other women? Buy the book here. Engage Gloria for a Speech or Workshop here.

Books Make Great Gifts

'Twas the week before Christmas and the last thing you feel like doing is shopping for gifts. So here is my list of suggestions that in most cases with free shipping and expedited delivery you can order from the comfort of your home while sipping a glass of wine, baking cookies and watching your favorite holiday movie classic. (note: these gifts also work if your holiday season is Hanukkah or Kwanzaa)

You'll notice that they are all books. Yes, books make great gifts. You can give the good old fashioned kind printed on paper or gift an e-version to the person in your life who reads electronically. Note that the option for e-gifting on Amazon works for iPad readers as well that have a Kindle app. You'll also notice that this is not as self-serving as it might seem. Yes, I suggest The Secrets They Kept for the fiction lover in your life,  but I also have others to share. I really do believe books make great gifts. These are a few of my favorites, all of which I am proud to say have a spot on my bookshelf. 


Shoe Are You
for the shoe lover 
This delightful book, complete with illustration, is the first of its kind, offering  advice for your life, your wardrobe and career -- all based on your footwear. If you are a stiletto girl, ballet flat girl, cowboy boot girl or even a barefoot girl, you will find out what your shoes say about you. Written by shoe expert and TV personality Meghan Cleary.


Using the Power of Pleasure To Have Your Way in the World
for the woman who is looking for more pleasure, every day, every where
Relationship expert Regena Thomashauer teaches the "womanly arts" of identifying your desires, having fun no matter where you are, owning sensual pleasure, befriending your inner bitch, and flirting. It's no secret that this book changed my life.


No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power
for the woman who wants to know not just how to make change, but why it is needed
More on women and power, this time from feminist icon Gloria Feldt. What I love about this is not just the very useful tools she shares but the historical perspective and anecdotes that point to the elephant in the room that too many pretend doesn't exist anymore, that as far as we have come, inequality for women still exists.


Secrets of Six-Figure Women
for the woman who is looking to create a new world order around her finances
Yes, I seem a bit obsessed with secrets. I also have a bit of an obsession for the wisdom of financial expert  Barbara Stanny. This is is just one of her many books in which she helps women develop a better relationship with their money. This one gives you the skinny on what the high earning women she interviewed know that you don't.


The Secret Pleasures of Menopause
for the woman who is near or at "that age" and is looking for the rainbow
There is that secret thing again, not to mention pleasure. Mmm. Is there a theme here? I digress.  I realize that for some of you the idea that menopause might bring anything more than hot flashes seems like a very cruel joke. But joke it is not. Dr. Christiane Northrup will show you that this can indeed be the best time of your life. Also by the enlightened and brilliant Dr. Northrup, Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, and The Wisdom of Menopause.


Testing for Kindergarten
for the mother of young children in your life
First, let's set the record straight. This is not just a book that will help you get your child into private school. Karen Quinn has written a primer that every parent should read on how to make learning fun for your kids. And when learning is fun, those school applications, from kindergarten to college will be a lot easier to take.


The Secrets They Kept
for the fiction lover looking to discover new writing voices
Can you blame me for inserting one more self-serving plug here before I wrap this up? This engaging story about the long kept secrets of a Greek-American family has been called "a true page turner", "an excellent debut novel", "a telling lesson in honesty, or how the lack of it can disrupt our entire lives", " a roller coaster ride of intrigue" and a  story in which "Women-strong women- take center stage....distinguishing it from your run of mill novel." 


In closing and in full disclosure I have the distinct honor and yes, pleasure of knowing each of these authors on a first name basis. Each has contributed to my personal journey over the last several years. Their wisdom has added to my wisdom. And that is the greatest gift of all. 




What's your favorite book to give as a gift?

Choosing Happy

"I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude." 

Judith M. Knowlton via Gloria Feldt

I received an email this morning from an old friend.  He remarked that I seemed to be doing quite well and reflected a happy person's views in this "sea of negativity." I remember him from the decades ago we were in each other's daily lives as one of those "happy people." He had a vibrant energy with an easy laugh and a why not attitude.  He was fun to be around. Which accounts for the large circle of people that were drawn to be in his presence.

People like him always made me want some of whatever they had going on.  You see back when I knew my friend I was not one of those happy people.  I can see that look you're giving me now. How could that be possible?  It's the same one I get when I tell people I once had weight issues. But it's true.

I  wasn't that happy even though I got pretty good at pretending. As the child of depression era parents I grew up with a "make the best with what you have" attitude. Which meant I got very good at rationalization. Yes on the surface it all looked pretty shiny. But inside it  didn't always feel right.

This was long before I understood energy, personal truth and the power of something as simple as breathing. So my core felt like a giant log jam that I couldn't find my way out of.

Back then I didn't understand I could choose happiness.  I didn't understand the fine line of  difference between gratitude for what is and trying to make the best of a situation I didn't want. I didn't get that gratitude is simply an acknowledgment of the good that has already shown up in one's life. And unlike making the best of something which for me was twisted with the fear  I was stuck with whatever that was forever, gratitude for what is allows you dream of what will be. And to believe it is possible. It's very simply a step towards it.

A mind shift if you may. A choice.

In this "sea of negativity" perpetuated by media voices more concerned with complaining than doing, with doom than hope, one of the simplest thing we have control over is how we choose to be. We can be happy or not. We can believe in positive change or stagnation. We can smile or we can frown. We can look for the good or the bad. We can believe we can control our thoughts and our attitude or we can believe we are victims.

What do you choose?




Note: In gratitude for my dear friend's note  and for Gloria Feldt's perfectly timed tweet which both arrived this morning and without which I have no idea what I would have blogged about !

Vote!

Whatever your day looks like, 

whatever you are doing,

make sure you Vote! 

If you need reasons why, read my blog again or check out Seth Godin's.  If you are a woman and were thinking about staying home check out Style Substance and Soul for a refresher course on what women endured to earn the right or check out Gloria Feldt's take on why voting is a way for women to use their power and be heard.

And if you want a history lesson on Democracy told by a group of celebrity Greeks that will not only make you laugh, but make you vote and then check this out!

Getting Political

One of the great things about having your own blog is that you can do whatever you want with it. And if some days that means going a little off course from what you usually write about you can. So today with just a week away from the mid term elections that is what I am going to do. I am going to get political.

I'm not one of the ragers. I am not a doomsday predictor. I have said more than once here I am  the girl who looks at the glass as half full and I believe change is good, even if at times it is hard to get your arms around.

But the one thing that really does incite me is when I hear the predictions that people are just not going to vote this election. That they are going to sit this one out for a variety of pundit inspired reasons, from those who are just too disillusioned there hasn't been enough change to some who are being encouraged not to vote because they are told that will make a statement to those they might be angry at. And of course there are those who think their vote doesn't count. That no matter who they vote for things will stay the same.

In most corporate organizations, those mentalities would get you fired. Can you imagine telling your boss that you weren't even going to try and sell a client because you knew already they weren't going to buy?  Or that you weren't going to make any more cold calls because the economy is awful and no one is biting anyway? Or sitting around a conference table and when it came time for your opinion you said you were passing? That you didn't have any?

Or how about those Texas Rangers? The ones who are going to their first World Series? What if they had told their managers that they should just sit out the playoffs  because they always lost  and the Yankees were going to win anyway? That there wasn't any use in even getting up to bat?

I get especially incensed when I hear it is mostly women who are going to sit this election out.  In Gloria Feldt's new book, the #1 power tool she suggests for women is to know your history. With that let me remind the women reading this that the Declaration of Independence stated that "all men are created equal", The Constitution, which so many believe we need to enforce by the letter within which it was written, was the creation  of a bunch of white men and that women had to fight to earn the right to vote in 1920, less than one hundred years ago!

You can see how that enrages me for so many reasons, not the least of which is that I don't believe in all the predictions of low voter turnout.

What I do believe is that it is media hype. Something else to fill the 24/7 endless repetition of nothing that fills most cable news networks.  (Check out Seth Godin's blog for a non politically directed spin on what I am referring to.)

The majority of us are not political pundits with a blog or show to fill. We are not answering our phones when the pollsters call. And if we are under thirty chances are our only phone is a cell phone which completely eliminates us from the process.

Pardon me if this sounds too optimistic for many of you, but I am sensing that all that rage being spewed by the few with the microphones attached to their paychecks, has now spawned the anti-rage. Enthusiasm without the anger. Enthusiasm with sanity. Sort of along the lines of what Jon Stewart is organizing this Saturday. A Rally to Restore Sanity.

I don't profess to have all the answers to all the ills we are facing at the moment. But I do believe we are moving forward, albeit slowly. And I also believe everyone has a responsibility in that.  EVERYONE as in you and me.

Voting is one small action that lets your voice be heard. (If the pundits have turned you off so completely that you are uncertain the views of the candidates in your area check out this very cool non-partisan site, Project Vote Smart.)

I worked in advertising sales through more than one recession. We couldn't wait for someone else to do the work to make our budget. No matter how tough and unrealistic, EVERYONE had to do their part. No order was ever considered too small, which meant if you were a rookie with no list or a heavy hitter with a host of clients to cajole, you were expected to do your part and contribute. A $1000 order was as important as a $10,000 order in getting the team closer to the goal. No one got to sit out.

I've chosen to use my blog as my platform today because I am not sitting this election out. If I have convinced even one of you to vote that wasn't planning on it, I'll consider this a blog worth writing.  I'll be rallying on Saturday in Washington, DC because I want to support more sanity and get on with the job of getting things moving forward.  I'll be making calls encouraging others to do their part on Election Day, so if it's me who you hear on the phone, don't hang up!  Most importantly,  I'm  choosing to vote. The question is, will you?

This blog is being syndicated on Blogher

Power Tool #9: Tell Your Story

I've been in absentia from my blog. There is always more than one reason that happens, but for today suffice it to say, one of those reasons was that I've been reading Gloria Feldt's new book, No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power.

This is not the sort of book you are going to race through. This is the kind of book you have to put down and digest before taking more in.  To think about. To reflect. To discuss.  And if Gloria's passion for what she has made her life's work has any effect on you, will make you want to do at least one little something differently than you have been.

So that's what I've been doing for the last week. Letting it all sink in. Being reminded of all the work that was done, all the paths that were paved to make me lucky enough to be able to write and publish my own blog from the privacy of my home and say whatever I damn well please without fear of my life in question.

If you think that sounds extreme, you don't as Gloria points out in Power Tool #1, Know Your History. If you are like me, you remember how it was starting out.

I graduated high school the year Title IX was passed. Girls took Home Economics and boys took Wood Shop. They changed the dress code sometime in Sophomore year which meant we could ditch the dresses and wear pants to school. I have always liked to say that the world I was raised to live in ( think Donna Reed and Father Knows Best) was not the one I stepped into as a college graduate.  I am considered to be of the group of baby boomers that rode into the work force on the end of the second wave of feminism in the seventies.  Doors had been opened for us and we were given the heady task of walking through them.

I wore those horrid suits with shoulder pads that made me look like a line backer. With a silk bow tied  securely around high collars the message was loud and clear that if we were about to make serious inroads in business, we better look and act like the guys and throw the feminine part of feminism out the window.

In fact as I recall, we started to keep our feminist roots quiet. The patriarchal culture we were edging our way into put a negative spin on the movement. It meant you were one of those angry women and might not be a team player. The further entrenched I got in the corporate landscape the more clear it became. If I wanted to get ahead, I had to buy into the program or at least appear to. In other words be seen and not heard unless it was what they wanted to hear. And don't go bonding with the other women. No girl's club allowed, because really, there might be room for one female on the rise, but more than one? Not a chance.

A lot has changed since then. Including me. But I agree with Gloria that it's not nearly enough.

We need to strengthen what was not there when I was on the way up, a sisterhood. (Power Tool #7: Create a Movement) There were very few women I could look to as a role model or mentor when I started out. If you were lucky, you crossed paths with a man willing to be your sponsor. But their perspective would always be to play by their rules. Not yours.

Now there are women in powerful positions who can help the younger ones forge their path. As Gloria points out it is incumbent for hands to extend in both directions.

While many like to predict the end of the world is on the horizon, I align myself with those who believe all the chaos ( Tool # 5: Carpe the Chaos)  and change we are experiencing now is part of a seismic shift, one in which women and the power of the feminine will balance out the patriarchal culture we have been living in for the last two thousand years. The thing is if we are going to get this planet on the right track, we as women need to tap into our power. Gloria refers to it as the power to as opposed to the power over. I like to think of it as the power within each of us as women, the power we were told to keep turned to dim, the power that can create positive change.

Gloria's message is clear. She is a passionate activist and former President and CEO of Planned Parenthood. She speaks from her convictions. She wants to call you to action to do your part and to seize this moment in time. She offers 9 Power Tools from which to choose. Whether you lean left, right or in between, if you are a woman you should read this book. If it sparks controversy for you, (It did for me. I did not agree with every point she makes.) well than use Power Tool# 4 and Embrace it. Then you can head on over to her website and engage in the conversation. That's how change starts.

As for me, I've been reminded of how quiet I have kept my voice for most of my life. That it has taken me this long to own that I am a writer and a coach and that I have something worthwhile to say to the world. Gloria reminded me of the reasons things unfolded as they did and the choice I had in it. She would say I took the safe path and I would agree. But now I'm on another path, one not so safe but much more fun.  It uses Power Tool #9: Tell Your Story.

Gloria Feldt is on book tour. Check out this list of when she is coming to your town.

You can follow Gloria on Twitter or Facebook 

And of course you can buy her book!