Are You Choosing The Words That Will Get You Noticed?

Choosing the right words is essential to telling a good story. The right combination has the power to influence. If we do it correctly, words afford us the ability to create exactly the visual we want the receiver to have in their minds. 

In 7 Reasons You Need A Vibrant Digital Profile, I told you why it was important to make yours robust. So it stands to reason that the words you use to describe yourself be selected carefully. 

You might be considering a word like "creative". You assume this makes you unique. That it puts you on the short list of potentials for whatever the searcher was looking for. Who doesn't want a truly "creative" individual on their team? How many really possess such an attribute? This word, you are certain, will make your profile shine a bit brighter.

But alas, you would be sadly mistaken. You see "creative" qualifies as an overused buzzword. As do other seemingly sought after attributes like "effective" and "motivated." That is according to LinkedIn's just released 2012 List of Overused Profile Buzzwords.

Every word on this list is a good attribute. They're the kinds of qualities that a prospective employer or business connection would want you to possess. They're also the obvious choices.

And in the wild and crowded planet on which we live, one in which it is increasingly hard to be found, whether you are a person or a brand, obvious will not get you noticed.

So if everyone is using the same words, and they are all reasonably good words, how do you distinguish yourself? Do you simply check the Thesaurus and look for replacements?

Nicole Williams, LinkedIn's career expert suggests that you "Show, Don't Tell."

I'm all for that. Writers live by this maxim.  If they don't you won't keep reading. 

So do revenue producers. Anyone who has ever sat in a sales meeting has heard their managers reiterate, time and time again, that they don't want to be told you are going to get the deal.  They want to see the signed contract.

Apply that premise to your profile by not simply stating that you are "a problem solver" and "innovative" but by backing it up with authentic and hopefully interesting examples. As Nicole suggests you can use the Links feature and direct the reader to a website or article that substantiates your claim. 

I think another good place to do this in your Summary section. Instead of just listing off these tired old, overused buzzwords, tell your story in full sentences, including illustrative examples of your tangible accomplishments. The whole point is to make your profile more interesting and make you jump off the page as a real, breathing, vibrant human that the reader will be pulled to call in for a meeting.


In the words of The Bee Gees, it may sound like "it's only words." You may be thinking it doesn't really matter if you include timeworn ones  in your online profile. You may convince yourself that no one really cares.

But they do. In this very competitive and noisy online world we live in, words are often all we have to "take your heart away." 

Or to make your digital profile to stand out from the crowd. 


Click here if you missed my post on ForbesWoman last week, 7 Reasons You Need A Vibrant Digital Profile 


Click here if you'd like to sign up for a  Digital Profile Makeover.

9 Basic Rules For A Tech DeTox

Two years ago I embarked on my first technology detox. I was rather ambitious. I decided seven days would be the minimum amount of time necessary to effectively cleanse my system of the poisons of  24/7 technology overload. It was an eye-opening and admittedly  difficult adventure that was chronicled  on this blog as well as on ForbesWoman.  

I learned a lot, about myself and the world we now live in. For example:

• Technology addiction is widespread and if not kept under control can be hazardous to your psyche and productivity.
• We are lured in with incessant media sound bites encouraging us to feed our habit. We fear if we are not keeping up with whatever else is going on at this very moment we are going to miss out. Lose. Something. But the fact is we don’t. At least nothing of great consequence.
• I had much more time in my life than I was owning up to. I was just misusing it.
• This would not be the last time I would need to take a break and detox. Like too much of the wrong food, periodically we need to stop, avoid the demons and cleanse ourselves of the impurities clogging up our system, until we can feel the essence of who we are again.
• Seven days is rather stringent.  Three can do the trick and give you a good reboot of  clarity as to what is really important.

I've noticed the last week or so, that it's time again. But like all diets, I've been saying I'll start tomorrow for a lot of yesterdays. But this time I really mean it! And since I'm writing this blog, now I can't back out. Besides what better way to gain some clarity and focus on creation instead of consumption right before the Fall starts, than to shut it all off?

So how will I do this? By following what I consider the 9 Basic Rules for a Tech DeTox.

1. NO social media. No reading of and/or engaging in. That includes but is not limited to Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Google+ or Instagram.
2. Limit reading your email to 3x a day for no more than twenty minutes at a time. Use an egg timer. My suggestion is to check in the morning, before lunch and at the end of the business day. Note: you need to close down the program for this to work. Otherwise those intrusive reminders, all those bells, whistles and alerts will lure you in.
3. No meals with or in front of technological devices including but not limited to  smartphones, iPads, desktops, or television.
4. Experiment with only getting news from a printed newspaper. This may be a stretch for many, but reading the on-line editions is a temptation to wander about in cyberspace.
5. Limit your television time to destination entertainment viewing only. No aimless meandering with a remote in hand in search of a rerun of Sex andThe City.
6. Focus on creating, not consuming. (For me, this will mean ALOT of writing and planning)
7. Experiment with using a pen and paper to take notes, or anything in that vein that will keep you from touching anything electronic.
8. DO NOT multi-task.  For example, no walking and talking on the phone.
9. Alert all those of real importance in your life what you are up to so they don't wonder why you have not commented on their newest FB picture or take it personally you did not answer their last email in thirty seconds. If they want you they will find you. Trust me.

Tech Dieter's Note: You may find yourself cheat, nibbling away on your favorite social media network like it was a warm chocolate chip cookie you just could not resist. It happens. I confess I have been guilty of just such indulgence when I am in the midst of a tech detox. My advice? Enjoy the moment, own up to the fact you fell off the wagon, and get back on. 

I'll be detoxing until next Wednesday. If there is something really critical you need to find me about, like you are finally ready to sign up for some serious coaching, just shoot me an email. I'll be checking 3x a day!  

Women Creating Change: My Conversation with Gloria Feldt

     I met Gloria Feldt at an 85Broads event not long after I first left corporate America. I admit to being a bit in awe that I was getting to eat breakfast with this nationally renowned activist sitting across the table from me. I'm still in awe, but what I discovered that morning is that Gloria is as real as the rest of us. She's powerful, she's passionate, and she knows her stuff. A teen mother from rural Texas, Gloria served as president and CEO of Planned Parenthood from 1996-2005. Today she continues to work towards the betterment of women's lives as an independent commentator on women's issues, politics, media and leadership. She teaches at Arizona State University and serves on the board of the Women's Media Center. Her must read book, No Excuses, 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power has just been released in paperback.
     When given the opportunity to sit down and chat with her I was wise enough to accept. I am honored to share with you my recent conversation. 

A key concept in your book is about changing the meaning of power for women. Can you elaborate?
     Women resist their power in part because we have borne the brunt of the most negative aspects of power for millennia.  Power has been defined as the power over something or someone. I urge women to redefine power in their own minds as the power to—power to accomplish good things in this world, power to thrive as an individual and the power to help others, to make life better fro yourself, your kids, your community, your world.
     Power over is from Mars. Power to is from Venus. Power over is oppressive. Power to is leadership. See what a difference it makes to define your terms?


I like the Mars and Venus analogy!

The idea of a powerful woman is still a frightening prospect to many men. And to some women. Why in 2012, do you think that still is?


     Perhaps you have seen the old Dilbert cartoon: “Change is good. You go first.” Men who are insecure may fear the profound changes that have come from the moves to equalize gender power that you and I regard as simple justice.  This is because they hold the old, outdated “power over” hierarchical model of power in their minds, as opposed to the expansive “power to.”
     Some women might also fear loss of the comfortable safety of rigid gender roles, and the freedom from responsibility to make their own choices. 


You are one of the most well-known and respected feminists out there. How would you define being a feminist today? Is the definition any different than how you would have defined one in 1972?


     Thank you ! 
     The fact that sexism remains rampant in media and cultural norms if not laws should tell us that the job of feminism isn’t finished. Nor are we post-anything. But we are in a new phase.
     Twenty or thirty years ago, women might have thought they had to become men (metaphorically and in their behaviors and even dress) to succeed. Today, it is clear that the world needs what women have to offer--and women are more comfortable being authentically who they are. We learn and get stronger in the doing.
     Feminism has become a dominant social value. Who in 2012 would dare say that girls shouldn’t be educated and aspire to be the CEO rather than the secretary?  I believe this is an amazing moment for women, a hopeful and historic moment—if we make it so. It’s time for women to step up, stand in the power they have, and lead their own dreams. And to understand that change won’t happen by itself. Just because there’s a trend doesn’t mean it will continue without conscious action.
     For example, women’s numbers in Congress went backward in the 2010 elections because women failed to step up and support those who won in swing districts in 2008. That’s what happened after 1992, the last time an election was dubbed “the year of the woman.” In 1994, those women who had tipped the scales stayed home, and we got the Gingrich revolution and many steps back in women’s equality. The 2012 election is upon us and it’s a new opportunity for us to make it The Year of the Woman. Will we do it? The answer is in our hands once again. That hasn’t changed.
     To me, feminism is social justice, and I wouldn’t change the definition. 
   

 In your book you argue that nobody is keeping women from parity except themselves. Yet recently we’ve seen a renewed effort on the part of a segment of our population to quell our reproductive and health care rights. Can you offer your insight?


     I’ve been thrilled to see women break open so many doors during my life, and my decades of activism. But at the rate women are going, it’ll take 70 years to get to parity-and not just in politics! Women hold only 18% of top leadership roles at work too--and that’s not fair, or good for men, women, a balanced family life, or even companies’ return on investment according to McKenzie and Company’s analysis. Yet in spite of cultural barriers that arguably do remain, from the boardroom to the bedroom, no law or structural barrier is holding us women back now, except ourselves.  It is easier to become co-opted by a little success and not hold out for the whole package. Sometimes it is even easier not to have choices. But is “easy” the same as fulfilling? Not to me.
     There are many reasons --external barriers of discrimination and internal barriers of fear and insecurity--but there are no excuses any more. The doors are open; we have to walk through them.
     For example, in politics, women can now raise money as well as men, are more trusted by the voters, and are clearly as capable of putting together strong campaigns. Still, women candidates face media sexism and scrutiny that can be daunting. Hillary Clinton’s cackle, cankles, and cleavage for example. When did you hear a media commentator say about a male candidate that he couldn’t win because voters wouldn’t want to watch him age?
     And what about Rush Limbaugh’s latest outrageous, sexist statements about a young women who merely asked to state her opinion about the need for insurance coverage of contraception?
     This is hardly new.  The opposition to reproductive rights is what it has always been—a desire to control women’s lives through controlling their bodies and their sexuality. The abortion issue has always been just the tip of a much larger ideological iceberg. As we can now see clearly, the opposition also extends to contraception which most people thought was an entirely settled matter, since 99% of Americans use contraception at some time in their lives. 
     Even with all that, the only way to make the change is to make the change. Hillary did that and as a result it is becoming increasingly clear to people that leaders can have breasts and wear turquoise pantsuits. When women run they are now as likely to win as men, but young women are 50% less likely than men to even think about running for office.
     So we have to take the leap. You can’t win if you don’t run. You can’t get the job if you don’t apply or the salary raise if you don’t ask. You might not always get what you ask for, but that is one of the things we need to learn. Being told “no” isn’t the end of the world. Try again.


Many say the Feminist movement, has been invigorated because of the banter and rhetoric of people like Rick Santorum and Rush Limbaugh. Do you agree?


     Yes,  it has been invigorated, but in the breech. It’s great to get angry and get active to oppose something, but we are missing a big, bold agenda to aspire to. I hope that the energy generated by the Limbaughs and Santorums will be used to fuel the next wave of feminist legislation and advocacy for positive changes in society, to “fight forward,” not just to “fight back.”

 Personally my blood starts to boil when I see the pictures of these all white, all male juries discussing birth control. It’s reminiscent of the Inquisition and the Salem Witch trials.  I get so crazy I can barely breathe. What power tool or tools would you suggest women like me can implement in those moments?

     I’d say Power Tool #2, “Define your terms—first before others define them for you” is hardest but the most important here because we have yet to define power on our own terms. We react rather than setting the agenda. I think the current spate of legislation aiming to be equally in-your-face to anti-choice legislators—like requiring a man seeking Viagra to bring his partner in to attest he is impotent and give permission—are one sign that some people are waking up to this.

     And then Power Tool #7: “Create a movement” to get together with your sisters and supportive brothers to make the change you want and leave the retrogrades in the dust.

One of my favorite power tools is “Know Your History.” With women’s history not being taught in the schools, we have generations being raised thinking the freedoms we have today have always been there. Yet it was only 1920 when women were given the right to vote. What can we do to demonstrate how fragile our progress really is? Or have the recent events over who has the right to make decisions concerning a woman’s health and birth control choices brought it all to light?

     I’m so glad you like that power tool! It’s the most often ignored, and therefore we keep having to relearn its lessons.  May I refer you to my ForbesWoman.com post on the importance of knowing our history, and of learning and teaching it proactively since it usually isn’t taught in school?

Of course! Heres is the link:  http://www.forbes.com/sites/gloriafeldt/2012/03/13/wear-the-shirt-and-make-womens-history/   

You write about 9 ways women can embrace their power. Do you have a personal favorite?

     Like my children, I love them all.  But if I had to choose, I’d probably say “Embrace Controversy.”  Because I have had so many wonderful experiences with riding into the wave of controversy and using its energy to propel me or my issues forward. Controversy is a teacher, it gives you a platform, and it forces people to clarify what they think. Which in the end is the only way sustainable social or personal change is made.

If every woman who reads this test-drives just one tool today, which would you offer up that can have the most impact?


     Depends on her needs. That’s why there’s a whole toolbox full!

 To wrap up a la James Lipton… 

      What is your favorite word?           Audacious.

What is your least favorite?            Can’t.

What sound/noise do you love?    My grandsons’ voices.

What sound/noise do you hate?    Too-loud television.

One more question…If you had only six words in which to write your memoir what would they be?

    Convictions to action, love to manifestation.

Gloria Feldt is the author of No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power. Interested in learning more tips and power tools that have worked for other women? Buy the book here. Engage Gloria for a Speech or Workshop here.

The Cheering Squad

I have a cheering squad. We are a  group of seven women who meet on the phone every other week for an hour. We brag about our stuff. We talk about what we want to create next. We coach each other. We acknowledge each other. Often there is laughter, sometimes tears. We hold a safe space for our desires to manifest.

This week we met in person, a rare treat since we don't all live in NYC. But one of our out of town members happened to be visiting so there was reason. We had lunch as an appetizer before we did our thing.

Sometimes I get nervous anticipating my turn. You see I am ready for my BIG brag. You know the one where I have my book deal signed, sealed and delivered. But I don't have that brag  yet. And  all my others seem to pale in comparison. At least in my mind.

I had all sorts of knots twisting and turning in my stomach as I listened to the others go before me. There were BIG brags going down. My friend Karen's new game is out. One of our other members was just named VP of a major broadcast network. My brags, the ones I had planned on sharing seemed to be getting smaller and smaller until they shriveled up and disappeared into the ether. If I could have run out of the room I might have.

But that is not how being a member of a cheering squad works. It's about showing up and pushing past. It's about acknowledging not just the others on the squad but yourself. I knew if I could just  manage to remember one tiny one, the others would follow.

So I stayed. I took my turn. I remembered the article that was just published in ForbesWoman. I remembered that a powerful woman's group like 85Broads tweets how much they love my posts and opinions and cites me as an expert in career and professional advice. I remembered the offers I have received to guest blog on other women's sites like Endless Beauty.

I got to see the smiles from my cheering squad, not just hear them. I saw me through their acknowledging eyes instead of my critical ones. I heard their offers of support. I felt their love. And I remembered what I had forgotten.

We need to take a moment and brag. We cannot overlook the little stuff on the way to the big stuff. It all matters.  Each accomplishment, each signpost, is a step closer. We need to give cheer and we need to allow ourselves to receive it. We are not here to do this alone. We need our cheering squad.


Do you have a cheering squad?
Do you acknowledge yourself for your little steps?
Or do you wait for the big ones before you give yourself credit?

Shameless Self Promotion

I've always been a good promoter. It comes with the territory when you spend as many years in sales and the advertising world as I did. But it was usually for someone or something else. Rarely myself.

However, things change. As an authorpreneur with a growing coaching practice, I am learning that self promotion is necessary and can actually be fun once you take the shame out of the equation.

I  learned the art of bragging in the first class I ever took with Regena Thomashauer. Regena would use the analogy that you meet a man at a cocktail party and he could brag unashamedly about his golf score to the point you might believe he was ready for the pro circuit.  Ask the woman next to him what she does for work and in a rather small voice she might mention her latest book was just selected for a Pulitzer Price, qualifying  that it's really no big deal.

Women more than men have clung to the idea that we  live in a meritocracy, where good work will be rewarded but more importantly noticed. I learned that to be a myth. That without speaking up and bragging about our achievements, we might never get noticed or worse passed over because someone whose work wasn't as good had a louder voice.

It's more important than ever that we get past what Kelly Watson calls the myths of self promotion in  a recent article at ForbesWoman. There are a lot of big voices out there in our 24/7 world. There can be no shame in self promotion.

It's not an easy thing to do. When my detox tech series was published as a column in ForbesWoman last week I thought nothing of posting it on Facebook and Twitter, but when it came to sending an email to my non social networked group of friends to brag about it, I had to take several deep breaths and wait for the combination of cultural and familial messages that had been embedded in my psyche that this was wrong to do passed  before I could hit send. Old habits, die hard, but they must die.

For anyone who is reinventing, starting their own business or looking for the next move in their current career, shameless self promotion will serve you well.

In this month's Oprah Magazine, Donna Brazile says this on accepting compliments. "I thought acknowledging praise meant you were arrogant, but I've learned that knowing your strengths enables you to make use of them."

And that is what I think is key about self promotion. Learning what you are good at, owning it,  believing it is worth sharing and letting it be known.

Seven Day Tech Detox Diet On ForbesWoman

My Seven Day Tech Detox Diet has become so popular 

ForbesWoman has published a version of it!

Click here to read.

 http://www.forbes.com/2010/06/22/technology-detox-diet-forbes-woman-time-internet.html

Cool, huh?