The Days After - Day 16

The days after I left the building for the last time were not easy. Anyone who tells you they are is lying.  Big time.

For me they were filled with uncertainty about what was next. I knew what I wasn't going to do. I wasn't going to look for another job like the one I had. But I was not 100% clear on how I would earn a living.

All I knew was that corporate life had taken its toll on me. I needed a rest from it so I could figure out who I was again. I had spent most of my career leaning in and trying to fit into the structure. I had made it all into such a game I was playing and got so caught up in it that I hadn't realized the game was no longer fun and the structure was no longer something I believed in. 

Until I wasn't there anymore. Until I started waking up each morning not having to pretend.  

Those days after were not easy. But they were easier than the days before.

note: This is Day #16 of a 30 Day Experiment. Here are the details on how it all started.

Three Ways Technology Helped Me To Say Goodbye To Corporate Life For Good - Day 14

I owe a lot to digital technology. In fact, I'm pretty convinced that if not for the advances of the last five years I would probably be sitting in a glass-walled office someplace rather than at my desk in my living room.

Looking back, these are what I see as the top three reasons technology has allowed me to follow an entrepreneurial path.

1. It kept me connected. One of the hardest things to adapt to when you leave a busy office is not having all those human beings around all day. At first it seems like nirvana, being able to work uninterrupted and not having to pretend to be interested in a conversation a colleague has dragged you into. But it can get lonely at times. Which is where social networks come in. They keep you connected. You need a break and a little interaction and all you need do is sign on to Facebook or Linkedin. And you don't even need to get up from your desk.

2. It helped me learn what I needed to in order to move forward. A lot of people discount social networks, especially Twitter. They think it's nothing but mindless jabber.  Sometimes that's true. But more often than not it's also a great source of news and information. It can connect you to like minded people, influential bloggers  and potential business prospects as can other nets like Google+ and LinkedIn. The trick is learning how to use them right - which ironically can often be found at the end of the right link in a good Tweet. 

3. It allowed me to inexpensively set up shop in the living room. Let's face it, even ten years ago it was not as easy or seamless to create a business with nothing more than an iMac and the geniuses at the Apple store to show you how to unravel its mysteries. Five years ago it was. Today even more so. 

Lucky me. Lucky you. Lucky us. Thank you technology!

note: This is Day #14 of a 30 Day Experiment. Here are the details on how it all started.

How To Take The Lead - Day 9

One of the greatest disappointments I had in my corporate career was watching what happened when a woman was put in a high enough position that she might have an influence on the corporate culture.

The first time I was naive and idealistic. The second time, encouraged but ultimately disheartened. I'd like to tell you about the third and fourth but in twenty-five years there wasn't any third or fourth.

Each time it was the same thing. I would be optimistic that the glass gate surrounding the boys' club would be cracked. Women would be given a voice that would be listened to, not simply a seat at the table.

But it never happened. Instead, the newly minted executives didn't lead as women. They led as men. They didn't bring their inherent attributes to the table, their sense of perspective and intuition and attunement. They didn't mentor and support other women. They dug their heels in deep into the patriarchal model they had inherited. They didn't change the corporate politics. They played the existing game. 

My experience was not unique. 

I've heard it again and again and unfortunately I still hear it today. Women telling me the woman they report to does nothing to change things and everything to maintain the status quo. Many will say they find them less reasonable and supportive than any man they ever worked for.  

It saddens me but I understand why.

No one taught them how to lead as women. They were taught to lead as men - by men. 

They didn't know any differently. Plus those positions of power they had arrived at were tenuous. One wrong move and out they go. So instead of really trying to make a difference, they led so as not to  upset the apple cart.

The good news is things are changing. There is something very different in the air today than there was five years ago when I signed those corporate divorce papers.

It seems as if everywhere I turn I meet women who are committed to changing the paradigm and to supporting each other. One of them is Gloria Feldt.

I met Gloria just a few months out of the corporate world at one of the first 85Broads events I ever attended. Gloria has done a lot of amazing things since then. The most recent is co-founding Take The Lead Women, an organization dedicated to preparing, developing, inspiring and propelling women to take their fair and equal share of leadership positions across all sectors by 2025.

One of the things Take The Lead does is teach women  leadership skills and how to access their power so that they can drive the change needed in the workplace. These types of organizations and resources did not exist before. The good news is - they do today.

Interested in learning how to take the lead?

You can sign up for the next Take The Lead webinar right here. Use the code ttlead2 and you'll get a 20% discount.



note: This is Day #9 of a 30 Day Experiment. Here are the details on how it all started.

The 9 To 5 Illusion - Day 5

People always ask what it’s like to have left behind the nine to five world. They want to know how it feels to be able to get up in the morning without racing into the shower and out the door. They long for the luxury of the short commute into the living room where your desk sits and typing away at the computer until Noon in their yoga pants.

There are a couple of things they don’t realize.

The first is I never really had a nine to five job. In fact I was told by my very first sales manager in 1983 that I had to approach my job as if I was in business for myself. The company gave me a desk and a phone and a business card, but I was ultimately the one in charge of how much money I would make. The more I sold the higher my commissions. In the world of radio and television advertising there is no true nine to five - just the illusion of a day that looks like that.

You left the office when the job was done. Other days the job was never going to get finished. Beside, in sales and in marketing you’re never really completely “off” work. If you’re good your antennae are trained to always be looking - for a lead, to see what the competition is doing, what the next trend will be.

The second thing they don’t get is just because you are no longer beholden to the corporate behemoth does not mean you work less. In fact in most situations I know of it means you will work more. At odder hours. You may take Friday afternoon off but work all day Sunday.

I’m still never completely “off” work. Take today. Technically I'm 'away' for the weekend, but -  I have this blog challenge I committed myself to. Luckily I can do that from here.

note: This is Day #5 of a 30 Day Experiment. Here are the details on how it all started.

The Experiment

I am about to celebrate the five year anniversary of my divorce from nine to five corporate life. Yes, you read that right. Five years!

It’s causing me to reflect. On many things. Including this blog which has not been getting the attention it needs and deserves.

While I aspire to be as prolific as Seth Godin and share something here every day - I don’t.  It seems as though while my life has expanded exponentially to include teaching and coaching and consulting, my energies have been dispersed. For a reason I cannot yet explain, it’s taken me away from what my initial intention was when creating this blog. To write. About what I see, what I think and what I feel. And to share it.

So I have decided in honor of this upcoming landmark event to launch an experiment. Beginning today for thirty days, I am going to post every day. It’s something I’ve never done but have always wanted to.

Thirty was a number I chose, for no other reason than it felt right. I’ve since been informed that thirty days is the amount of time needed to commit to something in order for a shift to occur.

A shift. That’s what I’m after.

You should know I’m doing this for very selfish reasons. The most important being a desire for clarity. You see everything feels like it’s falling into place - but I’m still not sure. And for me writing is about more than the joy I feel from the possibility I might entertain my readers, offer some insight or inspire them to try something new. It’s about me being able to breathe. I write because I have to. Because I need to. Because it is my passion at the core of all my other passions.

Like the very first post I wrote here on November 18, 2008 - I have no idea exactly what I will be writing for the next month. It might stay on target with what I have been writing - but there are no promises. I may lose readers. I may gain some. But again - the person I am doing this for the most is me. Which as a marketer might sound contrary to what I “should” do. But like I said - this is merely an experiment.

p.s I’ll be looking for inspiration. So if you have a question for me that you’d like answered, leave it in the comments section and I’ll do my best to serve something up.

pps. If you don’t already subscribe to my blog and would like all thirty days of blogging to be delivered by email, you can sign up here. 

pps. If it’s not doing it for you, feel free to unsubscribe whenever you are so moved.

The First Step

The first step is so @##**/ #\ hard. Anyone who tells you it's not, is lying. Especially when it comes to the really important stuff. The stuff that is going to make the big differences in your life. The stuff that you know is for your own good.

I've taken a lot of first steps so I speak from what I know.  Historically before those first steps, there is seemingly never-ending talk about whatever it is I want to change. Sometimes to the point where even I can't listen to me anymore. I've become so miserable and so repetitive going on about what is not right and what I want to change and that I am going to do something, someday soon,  that I've bored myself. It's usually just about this point that I make a move. That is, when I haven't waited long enough for the Universe to intercede.

That's what happened when I was downsized in 2008.  I knew I was done with 9 to 5 corporate life long before the pink slip, but I was too scared to do anything about it. I didn't like where I was but it felt awfully safe and comfortable to sit still and not take that first step down an unknown road.

Intellectually I knew that once I pointed my toes in the new direction and lifted a foot I wouldn't be able to stop moving. That's what happens when you are on the right path. It is as though a great gale force of wind is at your back propelling you forward and there is no stopping you.

Think about what happens when a baby takes their first steps. They struggle, they fall, they lose their balance as they attempt to do what they were born to do.  But once they get going there is no turning back. They are, literally, on their path.

2012 will be a year of big change for us all. According to the numerologists, it is a 5 year which translates into fearlessness, change, joy and freedom. So my questions to you:
What will your change be this year?
What will you take your first step towards?

And because I am so passionate about change and about people living lives they love, and because I know from my own experience how hard it is to move towards that,  I have created something brand spanking new.  I am offering a  75-minute, one-time consultation  in which we will explore what exactly is stopping you from taking your first step to whatever is next for you. 


Is it your fear of success or failure, of money or lack of time?
Do you think its too late to make a change in your life?
Do you believe you don't really deserve to earn money and be happy at the same time?
Do you know you want to do something different but haven't a clue what that is?

It's what I like to think of a baby step before a big adult step.

Take a first step. 
click here now

I Had A Dream

I had a dream that one day I would no longer work for someone else. In that dream I imagined being more generous and benevolent to myself when it came to things like taking days off. I imagined that I would be able to shut off my work brain in much the same manner I had learned to do when I had my corporate job, letting it rest just long enough to refresh itself before the wheels started turning again.

Turns out that part of my dream isn't so true. The wheels never stop, government holiday or not.

They don't necessarily take a break on the weekends either. In fact, it is not that rare an event where I get my best work done on a Sunday. This is not to say I now work 24/7. I don't.  But I will own up to the fact that it is often a Tuesday or Thursday when I get the least amount of work done. It's just what happens when you work independently.

Some days you are up before the sun and others find yourself in your pajamas at noon. Some days you are planning and in my case always writing....sometimes at 11PM, and others you are hard pressed to check two things off your to-do list.  Somedays it is back to life before you left the corporate world like tomorrow, when I have a networking lunch that will involve wearing stockings and heels. It's just what happens when you are your own boss. It's something you learn to relax into but always struggle with. Especially if like me you spent A LOT of years working for "the man."

I had plans to be generous to me and to sleep in today. Mostly because for some reason that I will not even try to explain, I was up before the sun on Saturday and Sunday and consequently had a very productive weekend. But the jackhammers on the construction site next door to my building had other ideas. They started working at 7AM as they have been for months. Apparently, whatever union they work for doesn't know that Martin Luther King's Birthday is now a federal holiday. Or perhaps they are just happy to be getting time and a half.

I have learned that the dream as Martin Luther King so eloquently demonstrated is the vision. What manifests doesn't always necessarily look exactly as the picture you had in mind, and that is okay. It's a first step. The key is to keep dreaming and to keep dreaming big.

As for me, I have decided to work until Noon today and then play this afternoon, or what I like to think of  as the best of both worlds.

The Satellite Office

Work for me always had a venue and that venue was my office. I was lucky enough that for most of my career I had my own with a door that I could shut if I chose to. More than one of those offices had a view, although none as nice as the one at my Satellite Office.

I hadn't planned on making the trip. I had planned on working from the Home location with view of a framed watercolor print of Aspen Mountain. But I woke up cranky or as a friend of mine likes to say ornery.

I looked at the list of projects and papers on my desk and surrounding the floor area and felt inspired to do only one thing. Get in the car and work from the Satellite Office.  After too many days of 90 degree plus heat and confinement to air conditioned rooms, I knew I needed the coolness of an ocean breeze and the sound of waves crashing if I was going to get anything done. But still I stopped myself.

I had writing to get on paper, calls to make and ideas to hatch. And I needed to be sitting in that very expensive chair I bought to prevent back injuries. My corporate life instilled in me that work had to be done in a climate controlled office with no pleasantries involved. Even with the advent of laptops and mobile devices, the environments I worked in frowned on the work at home philosophy. They never quite believed if you were anywhere but the office or with a client you were really working. And the beach? Impossible.

So I sat and stared at the blank screen of my word document for a while before I snapped out of it and remembered. I don't live in that world anymore. I can work wherever I choose to. And I knew where I was choosing today.

If you're wondering what happened next, check out this view.

the view from the satellite office

Armed with good old fashioned paper and pen and my iPhone, I got a lot accomplished at the Satellite Office. There was no wandering in cyberspace or laundry to distract me. Just the sound of an occasional seagull. Yes, the commute is a little longer, but with traffic on my side I can do it in under an hour, plus some of my best creative ideas happen the minute I step out of the house. The trick is to remember them by the time I get back. Or at least  remember to use my Voice Memos app.

Old habits die hard. But eventually they do die.

the office chair