What Happens When I Forget Who I Am

I've been stuck. 

In a creative quagmire. 

I'd call it writer's block but if - as Mitch Joel reminded me in his blog this morning - you listen to Steve Pressfield or Seth Godin - no such thing exists. As much as I admire and respect all three, the fact remains that my ability to get words on paper has been obstructed, blocked, closed down - whatever you'd like to call it - since the New Year started. 

I feel like one of those automobiles in the now infamous traffic jam that was the brainchild of Chris Christie's staff last September. Sitting amidst this congestion of ideas and projects - all spinning in my head with nowhere to go and  no idea when the mess will let up and things start flowing again.

Frustrated.

Unsettled.

I've tried all my usual tricks including reading my own book and setting my egg timer. I sit and I don't let myself get up until it goes off. But I don't have much to prove for it. 

Mitch Joel asserts the Internet will break your creative block. On the one hand I agree with him because I do find reading what others write a source of inspiration. Case in point was reading his blog this morning. On the other hand it can be a huge time waster if one is not disciplined with it.

But I can't blame trolling Facebook on this stoppage. In fact, as much as I would like to affix responsibility to someone else I have really only myself to blame.

I have been writing. Just nothing I really like. Nothing I think is really good enough to be shared. Nothing that passes Upworthy's  quality test regarding content.

The one that really trips me up is "If 1 million people saw it, would the world be a better place?"   

I'd like to think so. Hope so. Believe so. But really? 

Those are the kind of suggestions that make me wonder if I will ever share one more word with anyone - ever! 

As I am writing this it's occurring to me that perhaps that might be one of the things that is contributing to the lack of creative output at the moment. I've been trying too hard. I've been waiting for perfection. I've been comparing myself to the infinite scroll of everything else that is out there and telling myself it's not as good.

I've forgotten who I am. 

A writer. 

Above all, I am a writer at my core. And a true writer writes so they can breathe. They write to function. They write to make sense of life. They write to remember who they are.

And if they wind up resonating with a million - or even one person - then that is a very good day. 


A special thanks to Mitch Joel - for the inspiration for this post!

The Books That Made A Difference - Day 18

In the last five years I've discovered a number of authors whose writing has influenced my thinking and my direction, who inspire me and make me think. This is a partial list, but a significant one - one that I'd like to share. 

Linchpin - When I was still in my corporate job, I didn't know who Seth Godin was. Which in retrospect does not surprise me. Seth is the kind of forward thinker who sparks controversy and discussion. Not generally encouraged in corporatedom.  A friend and former colleague thought I would like him and suggested I read his blog. He was right. I started reading and haven't stopped since. Linchpin was the first book of Seth's books I read. And it wasn't the last. 

The New Rules of Marketing and PR - The first time I heard of David Meerman Scott was at a talk he gave at, ironically, NYU when his book, World Wide Rave came out. I remember being so inspired by his story, his passion and his perspective. Little did I know at the time that a few years into the future I would be teaching at NYU and using The New Rules Of Marketing and PR as a textbook for my students.  The 4th Edition just came out. I highly recommend it for anyone in sales, marketing, public relations or in business for themselves that wants a comprehensive look at what's changed and what you need to do to keep up with the change. It's also an entertaining read. David does not believe in a lot of meaningless jargon or what he calls Gobbledygook and his writing lives up to that.

The War of Art - I found Steve Pressfield through Seth Godin. The title may lead you to believe it is just a book for artists who struggle with getting their art out, but it is applicable for anyone who wants to create something. If the title scares you away try Do The Work in which he addresses the entrepreneur and business person directly. Steve is pure inspiration - the kind of stuff you can read again and again and still say Aha!

Fascinate - Your 7 Triggers to Persuasion and Captivation.  I discovered Sally Hogshead through Nancy Moon of MoonPR who has a reputation for always steering me in the right direction. To say I was fascinated by Sally's take on what fascinates us in today's noisy 24/7 world is an understatement. I've taken her Fascination test (you can too by clicking this link) which offers great insight as to how we fascinate others. 

Unbinding The Heart - It feels like I've known Agapi Stassinopoulos forever, she has become that good a friend to me,  but in truth we met just two years ago prior to the release of her book. While it may not seem like a book with this title fits in with the rest of the list, it does. Corporate culture encourages us to close our heart, exactly the opposite of what is needed for healthy, sustainable businesses. I'm not the only one thinking along those lines. In addition to teaching transformational workshops, Agapi also lectures to forward thinking businesses on the topic. Plus she walks the walk. I like that.

No Excuses - 9 Power Tools for Women - Gloria Feldt is one of the first people I met as I began expanding my networks after the 'divorce.'  I was honored to get an advance copy of No Excuses in 2010. I'm even more honored that she's become a friend and supporter. Every woman should read her book and check out her new venture, Take The Lead Women, where she will be offering leadership training specifically for women.

Control, Alt, Delete - Reboot Your Business, Reboot Your Life.  I just recently discovered Mitch Joel. Once again, the connection was Seth Godin. All I can say is WOW! There are so many gems in this one that I might have more sections highlighted than not. Like this one -

"Ask yourself if you're telling a story worthy of being told or are you telling a story just to get something sold?"

Note there are no novels here, which I read alot of, or raunchy erotica which I've been known to imbibe in. But I do learn from those books as well - about human behavior, character and interactions. However, that is a list for another day.



note: This is Day #18 of a 30 Day Experiment. Here are the details on how it all started.

Hanging Out At The Genius Bar

When I think of genius the first thing that comes to mind is the Genius Bar at the Apple Store. That delightful marketing tool where one of those Apple geniuses will tell you what is wrong with your Iphone.

I think Genius and I think of people like DaVinci, Einstein and Mozart. I think of exceptionally high IQs and strokes of brilliance that change the face of the earth.

I don't think of it as an aspect of a person's character and I certainly don't think of me.

According to Merriam Webster there are five different definitions for genius. Number 5 is the only one I have paid attention to. That genius is someone of extraordinary intellect and mental superiority with a very high IQ.

Now I have a decent IQ, howevered I have pretty much ignored the other four definitions.

Especially the one that refers to a marked capacity or aptitude for something. A distinctive identifying spirit. A personal genius. The genius within. My genius.

I've been engaged in reading and discussing this word alot lately. Steve Pressfield in The War of Art writes that genius is our unique gift that we were born to be. Whether it is art or writing or designing the next great computer software program. Seth Godin in Linchpin writes of the lizard, aka our personal resistance and how it hates our genius, trying to quiet it at any cost.

Both suggest we all have a genius. The thing is to first find what it is and then decide what to do about it.

In The Big Leap Gay Hendricks talks about living in our Zone of Genius, how few of us identify what that is and settle instead for our Zone of Excellence. I've lived in my Zone of Excellence for a long time. I've had two successful careers. But neither played fully to my genius.

This time I'm turning up the volume on my genius. Care to join me at the Genius Bar?

The Resistance Lives

The word keeps popping up everywhere I go. Resistance. So it shouldn't really surprise me that when I heard my crush, Seth Godin was going to be at Borders at Columbus Circle with some other writer, that person turned out to be Steven Pressfield, the author of The War of Art.

The Universe is like that. When it wants to make its point, it keeps hitting you over the head.

The concept of The Resistance is what The War of Art is all about. I admit, I would never have picked up a book with War in the title. I'm just not drawn to those stories. But after listening to Seth Godin and Steven Pressfield engage in a lively, poignant and for me timely discussion about The Resistance I took a copy of this slim book home with me. And yes, I read it in its entirety.

When Seth refers to Art in Linchpin, he stretches the word beyond the traditional definition. Steven Pressfield speaks to Art in reference to his own writing. The common thread is that no matter how you define Art, Resistance to it will be there. Every day. Resistance to doing the Work. And without the Work there is no Art.

I have been resisting my Work. As I am getting all the details together for my coaching practice, my fiction has taken a back seat. The conversation in my head has been going something like this. Is the coaching taking away from writing ? And if it is, am I using it as a form of resistance? Should I not coach? But I want to coach. I like helping people. I feel that pull in the same way I feel pulled to write. I'll write later, after I get this page finished. But not a page is finished yet. Not the coaching page for my site or a page of fiction. No Art. Of any kind.

It's been a heated discussion. The Resistance morphed itself in the form of the debate and endless chatter in my mind. The Resistance has been winning, coming up with all sorts of reasons not to sit down and do The Work.

I never expected all this Resistance. I imagined when I was still handcuffed to the chair of my Corporate office that when I was on my own there would be no Resistance. But that was because I saw the Resistance as someone or something other than me. When the truth is The Resistance is my own terrorist plot, one that lives inside trying to stop me from doing my Work. Somedays the security level is on high. Somedays less. But there is never a day, where it's threat does not exist. It's just up to me to be on alert.

Woody Allen said "Eighty percent of success is showing up" He left out the part that once you show up, you have to sit down and do the Work. That is if you want to create Art.