3 Tips To Better Manage Your Social Media Addictions

The other day a friend of mine told me she had something she needed to tell me. I tensed up. She sounded serious enough to have me worried that something was really wrong. 

“I’m addicted to social media. I have not said this out loud before, but its true. Addicted. In a bad way.”

Because I am a good friend, I did what good friends do. 

I listened. 

I didn’t judge. 

Besides, who am I to judge? I question my own addiction to Social Networks most every day. I have to be there. I’m a marketer. I’m an author. I’m a businesswoman.  So part of my time is justified for work. But all of it?  If I tell the truth - the honest truth - the whole truth - and nothing but the truth - the answer is no.

I am as guilty as the next person of scrolling a Facebook feed aimlessly in avoidance of doing work that might matter, of comparing myself to Twitter posts of people I don’t know, of looking to see who viewed my LinkedIN profile and didn’t reach out and then being so exhausted I need a nap after which I wonder why nothing is getting done. 

The question becomes - is that a true addiction?
The answer is - I’m not sure - but it might be.

My friend told me she had spent two hours on social media that morning. That made me feel better. While there is no doubt I spend at least that much time in the course of the day social networking, I generally don’t do it contiguously. Despite the fact that according to eMarketer we are both above the US daily average of 1 hour and 7 minutes I decided if we both had a borderline addiction, maybe mine wasn’t as bad as hers.

In any case, being the self-proclaimed Goddess of time management that I am, I offered my advice. 

Given her business - cold turkey is not an option. 
But putting oneself on a restricted diet is.

Which is how I have managed other similar addictions I have to things like shoes - which I am currently limited to buying only when on sale and no more than two new pairs a season. 

Here’s what I told her:

#1 Limit your social media intake to a half hour, 3x a day.  My days in radio and television have taught me to always live life in dayparts so I suggested morning, midday and afternoon drivetime - the theory being that different people engage at different times in the day. 

#2 Use a timer. No surprises here. Timers are my thing. Especially the old-fashioned kind that make an audible sound. For me it makes the time I’ve allowed seem longer. Plus it offers accountability.

#3 Turn off the alerts. On the phone, the iPad, the Desktop. There is no reason that everytime something happens in your networks you need to know that second. Just because someone liked the picture you posted of yourself in the seventh grade on #ThrowbackThursday - you don’t need to know that very second - much less respond. It’s distracting. It will suck you right back into your addiction and let’s face it - it’s just not that important! 

She liked the idea. 

I felt like a good friend.

Everyone was happy.

Then the oddest thing happened. 
As soon as we were done our conversation I got back on my computer and in less time than it took you to read this far I was on Twitter star gazing until my own addiction hit me squarely between the eyes. 

So I did what I had to. 
I listened to my own advice and have put myself on a restricted diet. If you notice otherwise, it’s a sign I’ve gone off the wagon.

A Message For Facebook

Dear Facebook, 

We've been friends for awhile. According to your records, since May 8, 2008. For a long time you were a lot of fun and I genuinely believed that you really were interested in working to improve my experience on your network.

But then you went public and as things work in our world, needed to get to the business of making serious money. I can't blame you. Money pays the bills.

Unfortunately the valuation of your business far exceeded the reality. That's a lot of internal pressure. A lot of creative thinking on new revenue models. Particularly challenging in a world that no longer wants to feel "sold to" or "marketed to" or "pushed."

Again - as a businesswoman I get it. As a digital strategist and former advertising salesperson I get it. And as an adjunct professor in digital marketing I get it.

But it's starting to get out of hand. You are starting to not  listen to me, your customer.

For weeks you have been annoying me - trying to get me to download your Messenger App. I assumed you understood my closing the pop-up meant I was not interested. But apparently you didn't get it. It continued to appear - which annoyed me even more.

Now I get an email from you telling me if I want to continue messaging from my iPhone, I have to download your App. Since you have not been listening to date -  I will repeat - I am annoyed. In fact, now I am REALLY annoyed.

I don't like anyone telling me what I "have to do" much less a social network that - to put it bluntly - is just not as much fun as it used to be.

My newsfeed is cluttered with stuff I didn't ask for.
Sponsored posts outweigh those from my "friends."
Every time you change an algorithm I have to go into my privacy settings to make sure you have not defaulted them back to what you want them to be. 
And, I'm tired that every time I take a peek at a new pair of shoes they follow me around like a lost puppy. 

I don't want your new Messenger App. And I won't be downloading it. Today or anytime soon. Truth be told, I don't even like to use it on my desktop. You already have more information about what I am doing and who I am connecting with than I would like. You can call it "private" messaging but I know the truth - someone over at FB headquarters is mining that text for data that you can use to make more money. I am not interested in adding to that stockpile. 

So if one of my Facebook "friends" happens to private message me - they'll have to wait until I am in front of my computer to hear back. I am okay with that. Because really - if it's so important to reach me - they have other choices.

Email. Text message. Other social networks we are connected on - the ones that are still fun and/or useful - like Twitter and LinkedIn. Besides, if it's really critical - they can do something decidedly retro - pick up the phone and call me.

My guess is the reason you are forcing this issue now is because there are a lot more people like me who have been refusing to download the Messenger App and you have sold this through already to clients and need to deliver.

I get that. 

But I don't care.

However, you should. 

The way I see it - new social networks will continue to proliferate in much the same way that cable networks did, going after niche markets or in this case - like-minded people. Some will be more successful and others not so. But in every case they will mirror what cable did - continue to pull share away from the broadcast networks - all because they did a better job of listening to what people really want. 

So Facebook, we are not through.  At least not yet. As I said earlier, I teach this stuff - so I like to keep my hands in it. But if you thought trying to force an unwanted App at me was going to increase my engagement - it is doing just the opposite.  You see - I still watch broadcast television - just less of it. 

The Story

Once upon a time there was a story.

The story had a beginning, a middle and an end.

It had a really great opener that hooked you in.

It had interesting and complex characters you wanted to know more about.

It was told around campfires, written on stone tablets, acted out on stage and printed on leaflets. It was shared at parties and in bars and on park benches. It was listened to on wireless radios, made into movies and television shows.

The story kept spreading until one day something called the world wide web was invented.

Now there were new ways to tell the story. In blog posts, podcasts, You Tube and Vine videos, Tweets and Facebook posts. Sometimes the story was told in words and sometimes in pictures. Sometimes both.

But the one thing that never changed was the story itself.

Yes - there were new twists and fresh takes. The characters varied, appearing in an assortment of shapes and sizes and with unfamiliar names. 

No matter how many different ways it was told or tweaks  made or mediums created through which to tell it - the story kept drawing people in. 

It hit that sweet spot. The one that connects hearts and souls. That makes us pause and think, laugh or cry, happy or angry. 

The one that makes it a story worth sharing.

The Upside Of The Stress Of Keeping Up In A Digital World

It’s not easy keeping up in a digital world.

You take off for a week - to a location where internet service is unstable - not to mention expensive. The withdrawal gives you the shakes. You find yourself distracted in conversation, your hand keeps reaching for that iPhone, certain there is something important happening inside of it that you can’t get to. You worry your business might suffer and no one will sign up for your June workshops because you are suddenly absent from Twitter and haven’t blogged in a week. That fear you are missing out on something happening somewhere else is getting in the way of where you are. You keep hearing Agapi and her sister Arianna Huffington reminding you of what their mother used to say  - “don’t miss the moment” - but you realize you probably are anyway.

It takes a few days and slowly but surely, the stress subsides. The sunshine, the blue skies, the sand and the sound of the ocean win out. The views are breathtaking. A camera cannot do it justice.  Everywhere you turn you are surrounded by family and friends, some new, some old. There is laughter and conversation - the live and in person kind - not the texting kind. Joy and love fills the air - after all you are here to celebrate the marriage of two wonderful young people who found their soul mates. You dance under the stars to a live band and feel transported to that time not so long ago - before technology had overrun your life and it was still possible to hide from the rest of the world.

You come back - relaxed and tan and happy and yes - a little bit excited to sit in front of your computer and catch up and get back to the work you love.

But within hours you’re overwhelmed. 

There are 500 unopened emails in your inbox, most of which are junk, but you have to go through anyway in case an important one is hidden in the bunch. You vow to unsubscribe to them all even though you know you won’t. Your page views on your blog have shrunk. All those creative ideas that were running through your head on what to write next while you were sitting under the shade of an umbrella negotiating with a local for that multicolored sarong with the sequins that caught your eye has suddenly disappeared into the ether. LinkedIn reminds you it has “been 8 days…since your last update. Share something new to stay top of mind.” The 8 days are written in bold red.

You start to wonder if you really do love all this technology as much as you think you do. You question if you can really keep up or if you even want to.

Then you sign on to Facebook and notice you have new friend requests from the people you just met. Those same people are sharing pictures from the big group vacation instigated by this destination wedding. People are commenting and liking and you get to relive each moment. 

You can’t stop smiling. 

And you remember - this is why you keep up. This is why you love all these social networks and digital tools. For the connections that get to continue when face to face is not an option. 

Registration for Your Digital You - the blueprint - 

a workshop designed to improve your digital profile 

is now open for June 12 and June 14. 

Grab your seat now!

Ten Ways To Waste Time Without Ever Leaving Your Desk

I get on it so much about saving time and finding ways to create more of it, I thought it was time to fess up. I am also really good at wasting time. But then what self-employed, creative entrepreneur isn't?

The key word here is creative. When creativity is part of your game it's a lot easier to waste time. In fact, often when faced with the ugly green eyed monster who gets in the way of one's creativity - the only thing creative you can come up with is ways to waste time.

In the digital world the possibilities are endless. Without even leaving your desk look at all these things you can do.

1- Unsubscribe to all those email newsletters you keep getting that you (a) don't remember subscribing to or (b) are sure you did and can't figure out how they keep coming back.

2- Read Jerry Seinfeld's AMA on Reddit. It's really funny.

3- Go through the sponsored Ads on the side of your Facebook feed, one by one, and click the button that says you don't want to see that ad anymore.

4- Change the display on your computer screen every ten minutes until you find one that suits your mood.

5- Delete all the apps on your iPhone you haven't used since the day you downloaded them.

6- Read through your back-up of Google Alerts and discover that the National Association of Professional Organizers has deemed February National Time Management Month. Who knew?

7 - Google the Kardashians and see if you can figure out what it is they actually do that earns them a living. (this one can waste more time than you ever thought possible)

8 - Create a Spring Fever Pinterest Board for no other reason than to dream of Spring.

9 - Search for contests you can enter to win and enter them. (here's a cool one from The Travel Channel)

10 - Write a blog about wasting time instead of working on the five other projects you still have not finished.

I could go on - but I've wasted enough of my time and yours - at least for today. It's time to go back to work.

If you'd like to hear the other side of this - how to create more time - instead of wasting it - my popular little book, It Takes An Egg Timer, A Guide to Creating the Time For You is available on Amazon for just $.99!  

Where The Cool Stuff Is Created - Day 24

The really cool stuff, the ideas and innovations that are changing our lives are not being created in the big corporate offices.

Apple's roots were in somebody's parents' garage. Facebook was created by a couple of college students. Twitter is reportedly the result of a brainstorming session by a podcasting company.  Instagram,  Pinterest and Vine were not borne in an idea lab funded by a big multi-million dollar corporation.  Warby-Parker - who has disrupted the entire eyeglass industry - was the result of a conversation between four Wharton graduate students over why it was so hard to find a reasonably priced pair of stylish eyeglasses. Social media channels continue to proliferate. Case in point - Happier, which bills itself as a "simple and beautiful way to collect happy moments you find in every day, share them with close friends, and be inspired to do more of what makes you happier." 

Big business resists innovation. They might say otherwise, but they hardly walk the walk and instead create hierarchies of processes that make it near impossible to do something new in real time. 

They don't like risky. Risky is too hard to explain to their board members and shareholders. That conversation is not about the cool and cutting edge. It's about what their monthly financial statements look like. 

There's no doubt in my mind if the idea for Happier was pitched internally at a stalwart media company that it would have fallen on deaf ears. In those environments - if it bleeds, it leads. Which would be their reasoning behind passing on  the opportunity as they explained that happy stories don't make money. 

Except of course the one about the new start-up called Happier that according to the New York Times has found $2.4 million in seed funding.






note: This is Day #24 of the 30 Day Experiment.   Here are the details on how it all started.

Three Ways Technology Helped Me To Say Goodbye To Corporate Life For Good - Day 14

I owe a lot to digital technology. In fact, I'm pretty convinced that if not for the advances of the last five years I would probably be sitting in a glass-walled office someplace rather than at my desk in my living room.

Looking back, these are what I see as the top three reasons technology has allowed me to follow an entrepreneurial path.

1. It kept me connected. One of the hardest things to adapt to when you leave a busy office is not having all those human beings around all day. At first it seems like nirvana, being able to work uninterrupted and not having to pretend to be interested in a conversation a colleague has dragged you into. But it can get lonely at times. Which is where social networks come in. They keep you connected. You need a break and a little interaction and all you need do is sign on to Facebook or Linkedin. And you don't even need to get up from your desk.

2. It helped me learn what I needed to in order to move forward. A lot of people discount social networks, especially Twitter. They think it's nothing but mindless jabber.  Sometimes that's true. But more often than not it's also a great source of news and information. It can connect you to like minded people, influential bloggers  and potential business prospects as can other nets like Google+ and LinkedIn. The trick is learning how to use them right - which ironically can often be found at the end of the right link in a good Tweet. 

3. It allowed me to inexpensively set up shop in the living room. Let's face it, even ten years ago it was not as easy or seamless to create a business with nothing more than an iMac and the geniuses at the Apple store to show you how to unravel its mysteries. Five years ago it was. Today even more so. 

Lucky me. Lucky you. Lucky us. Thank you technology!

note: This is Day #14 of a 30 Day Experiment. Here are the details on how it all started.

The Most Underused App On Your SmartPhone - Day 8

My smartphone sits next to me as I write. I have over six pages of Apps. I can use it to check Facebook, the Stock Market and the weather in Paris. I can snap a picture, edit it with my Camera+ App and then post in on Instagram. I can read The New York Times and listen to Pandora. I can send a text, write an email and set my alarm for the next morning.

But the thing that used to be it’s primary purpose - before it became so smart - is the most underused App of all. 

According to the IDC Research Study sponsored by Facebook only 16% of smartphone usage is spent talking on the phone !

The phone call has evolved from being "the next best thing to being there" to an intrusion and an infringement of one's precious time. 

Why talk when one can text? 

And email? It's so much more efficient to do business.

Or is it?

Is it a better use of time to watch the phone ring and let voice mail pick up - than to experience human interaction? 

Maybe.

Is it faster and quicker to reply to the phone message with a text rather than doing something rare and what in many circles is still considered polite and call me back?

Could be.

But not always. 

And here’s the reason. 

The sound of another’s voice is a source of human connection. 

Did you hear that?

It’s why radio still endures as a medium in an age of multiple choice. It’s why podcasts are increasing in popularity.

Your voice is a persuasive tool that does not translate in a text message. An email exchange might change the course of a difficult situation - but nothing will measure against the sound of another's voice.

True, it takes more courage to pick up the phone in a world that lets us hide behind our technology. But because it’s used so infrequently these days it also sends this wonderful signal that says the receiver is important enough to actually spend some time and talk with.

What a refreshing thought!

The point of technology is to enhance our relationships - personally or professionally - not substitute. There are plenty of situations where the text or email is the best and quickest route to communicate our message. But not always. 

If you don't believe me, give it a whirl this week and experiment. Let me know what happens.

note: This is Day #8 of a 30 Day Experiment. Here are the details on how it all started.

French Women's Secrets To Using Technology

I first met Jamie Cat Callan back in my corporate days. I had signed up for a Saturday writing workshop she was teaching at NYU. She incorporated a lot of great exercises into what would later become The Writer's Toolbox. Miraculously, that day she got me writing. Just as much of a miracle,  Jamie told me that yes - I was a writer. You see, at that time in my life I wasn't convinced. 

I hold a special place in my heart for those I've met along the way who encouraged me to pursue to my art. So I try to stay connected. Which these days thanks to the miracle of social media makes it much easier.

When I heard about Jamie's latest book,  Ooh La La! French Women's Secrets To Feeling Beautiful Everyday I had to get me a copy.  And as you know when I come across something worth sharing - I like to do just that!

This delightful and insightful read is part self-help, part self-discovery and part travelogue of Jamie's adventures throughout France. At the end I wanted to go buy a new perfume and book a trip to Paris! But I also wanted to know more. I wanted to know how French women were adapting to the digital age. So I asked Jamie if I could interview her for my blog.  She graciously accepted. Here's are her answers to the questions I posed.

What do French women think of all this new technology? Are they fans of 24/7 connection? Do they have Facebook pages? 

This is such a great question, because the answer is really a yes and a no.  And that’s so French—to live in a kind of grey area.  Still, I would say that French women are definitely not into the 24/7 technology and while many French girls love their smartphones, they don’t participate in as much social media as we do.  It’s not unusual for a French Woman to pull herself off Facebook and suddenly become very mysterious.  This is especially true if she’s fallen in love!   

Do you find French women as attached to their smartphones and tablets as we are? How does a French women incorporate her smartphone into her sense of style?

In recent years, the smartphone and the tablet have replaced the intriguing paperback book a French woman might carry with her on her walks.  A French woman will position herself in the park or at an outdoor café and then she’ll check her smartphone (one with a artsy case that reflects her personality).  That said, she would also be sure to look up from time to time to catch the flirtatious glance from the man at the nearby table.  It’s a matter of balance—so she will not get so hooked into her gadget that she forgets there’s a big wide world out there. 

You write about how French women feel permission to be completely themselves.  Do they extend that to their on-line interactions or are they more guarded?

While French women do give themselves permission to be completely themselves, they may not be so willing to share all the details of their lives.  I have many French women friends who are simple not on-line in terms of blogging, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest, etc.  But, the French women that I do know who participate in social media have something amazing to show or tell.  They create beautiful style blogs, or post the most amazing travel photos on Facebook.  For French women, it’s about having something interesting to share and the presentation is important.  This is part of the French philosophy.  Micheline Tanguy, a charisma expert I talk about in Ooh La La! told me, “the French like to put a flower on everything.”  And I think this is true, even when it comes to on-line interactions. 

You talk about fashion being a conversation and how it often starts with a photo snapped by The Sartorialist. I’ve been a big fan of his from when he wasn’t so famous. How does a French woman react when it is her whose photo is being taken and then posted on a blog for the entire world to see?

I’ve actually taken photos of stylish French women, Sartorialist style.  It seems to me that younger French women, especially women who are in the beauty and style business, don’t mind having their photo taken and then shared.  (You just have to ask permission).  I find that older French women are much more reticent, so I try to respect that.  I also travel with a postcard of my book, with a barcode scan for my Facebook page, so that the woman I’d like to photograph can see that I’m serious and artful about what I do.  The truth is, I think Bill Cummingham and The Sartorialist have paved the wave for street style photographers all over the world, and stylish women are much more open to being featured on-line.

Without giving away your adventure at the end of the book – how did it feel to be without internet connection for so many days?  Do you recommend the respite?

I did have quite an adventure—and while still remaining mysterious, I’ll say this—I spent nine days in a hospital in Toulouse without internet or phone (although I could receive the occasional incoming phone call).  It was hard to be so out-of-touch at first and it almost felt as if I was coming off an addiction.  I did find that I could stay grounded by writing notes in my little notebook, keeping track of the time with my wristwatch (yes, very old school!), taking lots of photographs of the doctors and nurses and all my French hospital meals (which were delicious!)  And finally, I found that staring out the window to see what the sky was doing and how the changing colors brought with them the passage of time was very soothing, indeed. 

Lastly, you write that French women transfer handicaps to assets.  I just love that philosophy! Do they see technology as a handicap or an asset in their allure and mystique?

I’ve met French women who completely embrace technology and use it artfully to share their particular passion—whether it’s making their own macarons, or designing landscapes or following fashion trends.  I’ve also met French women who seem completely off the grid, living in ancient farmhouses that they’ve restored themselves using river rocks for walls and reconstructing wooden beams from the 11^th century.  And so, in terms of allure—I believe French women know themselves.  They embrace their uniqueness with great passion and confidence, whether this involves using a smartphone or not. 

If a French woman does embrace technology, she will “add a flower to it” and yes, this love of technology will not be a handicap for her, but an asset and it will add to her mystique, because she is in alignment with her truest self. 

And this alignment--that’s really the secret to ooh la la.

Thanks Jamie! 

To find out more about Jamie Cat Callan visit: www.jamiecatcallan.com

To buy Ooh La La! French Women's Secrets To Feeling Beautiful Everyday (which I recommend you do!) click here!

Somewhere

Today was my friend Joe's birthday. At least it used to be. Joe passed after a long and arduous battle with cancer last Fourth of July. He never liked to do anything in a small way so it seemed fitting that the day he chose to leave this world was one in which he could exit with fireworks.

I was reminded of his birthday this morning on Facebook. Not that I would have forgotten. While our lives had taken different trajectories in recent years, the two days we were always certain to talk was on our respective birthdays. We were those kinds of friends. The kind you make when you are young enough and foolish enough to think you might live forever. The kind that no matter how long it's been since last you talked, when you pick up the phone it feels like it was just yesterday. The kind that no matter what, remembers to call and wish you a happy birthday.

Except this year, for the first time I can't do that. I'm missing that conversation. I'm missing him.

I'm missing my friend with the smiling Irish eyes who took pleasure in making everyone around him smile. Who loved to tell jokes that somehow made you laugh even when they weren't funny. Who loved his family and friends, especially his wife and his boys. Who knew what it meant to be in the moment and relish the joy. Who was always the last one to leave the party. 

Except for this one. This one he left too soon.  

I know I'm not alone today. His Facebook page is proof. New posts filled with love and remembrance for the bright light he was. You see you couldn't be Joe's friend and not have at least one story to remind you how lucky you were to have known him.

That's life in the digital age. We are reminded of birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, weddings, births and now deaths.  Joe would make a joke about that. He would notice as I have that Facebook seems more mercenary than usual today - suggesting I give Joe a Starbucks card for his birthday when he would rather a beer and a good party.  He would question as I do if they're tracking our actions so well how did they not notice his inactivity the past eleven months or at least remember Joe didn't drink coffee. He drank tea and not the fancy herbal kind Starbucks sells. 

I always tell people that they need to think before they post. Because once it is out there, it lives forever. 

Somewhere.

Kind of like Joe. 

When The Best Way To Connect Is To Disconnect

This was going to be a blog sharing this really great novel I just finished. It was so good, simply writing an Amazon and/or Goodreads review just did not seem sufficient. So I started to write this post.

I was going to tell you about how on Friday after an exhausting week of work I needed a break. From everything. People. Places. Computers. Things. I was going to tell you how I retweeted this tweet that originated from Lee Woodruff.

I had heard about this book. How could I not? While I don't know Caroline Leavitt personally we are Facebook friends. In fact apparently we have 118 friends in common. I checked ( yes - bloggers do research what they are writing about) and discovered  there are actually more than a dozen of those mutuals that I consider friends in the non-virtual world.

Anyway - Caroline has been sharing posts about this new novel for a while. She is one of those authors who understands the value of social sharing in a way that allows her true writer voice to be heard - authentically.

I made a note to add it to my Amazon wish list - for when I had time to luxuriate in a novel. Which was definitely not Friday. Not when I have a new NYU class starting on May 29,  two proposals for clients and all that marketing and prep work for the Digital Marketing w.001: Shedding Light On The Basics workshop on June 4.

But as I said, I was exhausted. I did not want to do any of the above, so I downloaded Is This Tomorrow to my iPad. Around 4 in the afternoon, I lay down on the couch and started reading. And I couldn't stop.

For the record, that doesn't happen often. I read a lot. I love to read. But it is a rare novel that I cannot put down - no matter how much else I "have" to do. It is a rare novel that reads effortlessly. That doesn't make me want to do anything but  read the next line. That each character pulls me in more than the next. That allows me that luxury of escape into someone else's world. That reminds me of how when I was a kid, one of my favorite places in the world was the second floor young adult section of the Glen Oaks Library where I could open the cover of a new book, lose myself in someone else's world and mysteriously connect more with myself. A book that reminds me I haven't been writing fiction enough of late.

I read until I was too tired to read one more word. All day Saturday, filled with real world responsibilities I kept thinking of this story set in suburban Waltham, Massachusetts in 1957 and 1963, of the complexity of the characters and of how real this fictional world had become for me. I couldn't wait until I got home to find out how it ended.

That's what great writing does. You can't wait to get back to it and then it makes you almost sad when you read the last page because even though you wanted to find out what happens, you don't really want it to end.

I wanted to write this blog to share this really great book and tell you that I think you should read it.

But as I was writing I realized there was more to this post than that.

This was a post about connection and how we find things in 2013. 

I had not read any of the reviews when I downloaded it. I hadn't seen it featured in a bookstore, because truth be told the last time I set foot in a real life bookstore was in January at the Barnes and Noble on Broadway to hear Ann Leary speak. (for the record I found out about that reading on Facebook)

I only knew that it was a May Indie pick and got featured in People Magazine because Caroline had shared that with her Facebook tribe. I read her posts because she shares good, useful info and often makes me laugh at her take on things. 

It was a tweet by Lee Woodruff, author, contributor to CBS This Morning and savvy social sharer that hooked me in on Friday. 

That's how discoverability happens today. Yes - there is a place for all that coveted traditional press - but what makes ideas and products and yes - great books spread - is good ol' word of mouth recommendations - a Tweet, a Facebook share, a Pin or a + Google.

This is also a post about disconnection. When I stopped all my busyness on Friday to treat myself to a novel the idea was sparked - without them having any idea - by the tweet of two people I really only know through Facebook and Twitter. 

And by that virtual nudge I was reminded that sometimes the only way to connect back with ourselves is to shut it all off. And do something drastically old world. Read fiction. 

So I'm sharing. Generously. Not because I'm being paid to. I'm not. Not because I was sent the book for free.  I wasn't.  Not because I will get something for this. I won't. 

I'm sharing because I can. And that's how people can say thank-you in the digital world.

This novel gave me a much needed respite from a crazy and exhausting week. The story and the characters replenished me, made me think and inspired me to go back to my own art - my unique combination of consulting, teaching and writing.

I'm sharing to say thank you to the author for creating such great art.

I'm sharing because that is the way of the world - and the digital world allows me to share more and do it more quickly.

I'm sharing because it makes me feel good. As did Is This Tomorrow.

The 140 Character Universe

Sometimes there are just too many words. 

Yes, that was me who wrote that. A writer at her core. A person who needs words. Lots of them to express herself in the way in which she wants.

But sometimes less is more. Scratch that. When it comes to words, less is always more. 

Writers are taught to clean it up and to show me, don't tell me. It's ingrained in the head of a writer. The little bird sitting on your shoulder - asking - is that word REALLY necessary? 

Of course, today everyone is writing. If not the great American novel, chances are somewhere in the course of an average day a line or two is posted on Facebook, a Tweet is sent to your tribe, a shout out on Google+ or perhaps a cute little hook on Instagram. At the minimum you've sent at least one email or text message.

If someone has not told you about the less is more concept, you might not make your point.

-You might try a blog post that runs the length of one of those articles in Vanity Fair, which is great for a juicy magazine article, but considered a ramble for a blog that should run between 350-750 words.

-You might respond to someone else's blog post in 410 words with no beginning, middle or end that leaves the reader wondering what your point was and longing for the excess time that you seem to have.

-You might never get a retweet because the original tweet was just too long and there was nowhere to cut it down.

-That email you wrote to pitch a new client never got read because the reason for the note was buried somewhere in the fourth paragraph.

-The text you sent was so long it came in three sections which explains why your boyfriend still doesn't understand why you're mad. He never read it.

If your intention is being heard - or in this case read - get to your point. Keep it concise. Don't make us wonder what your point really is. In a world where our attention span has shriveled to that of a goldfish, there just isn't time to go wasting a lot of words.

Twitter forces the practice. For better or for worse. On the one hand it is a challenge to get to the point in just 140 characters (120 if you'd like your message retweeted). On the other hand, it forces us to get clear on what we want to say. 

But even if you're not tweeting, the point of all this technology is to connect. The 140 character message won't always work, but it's a good barometer - especially if you want to make your point.