I've been obsessed with the subject of time. More so than usual but not necessarily news for those who know I wrote an entire book on the subject last year.
Acutely aware of my own mortality.
Humbled by all I've managed to fit in the last five years and how fast it went.
Worried that the next five will go too quickly as well.
Even as I write this, I have the egg timer set. It's my assurance to myself that I will make the most of this time I've allotted for writing today. Anxious not to waste a moment.
My mother intensifies this conversation for me.
I observe her at 90. She'd hate that I wrote that number here. But since she has refused to get with the times and get computer literate she'll only read this if I print her out a copy.
So yes, she is 90 and will be 91 in October.
I watch her, no longer as mobile as she once was, no longer the woman I had trouble keeping up with just ten years ago. Reminding me every day of just how short our time here is. How fast it all goes. And that if we're not paying attention - it's gone before we get to fulfill all those dreams and visions that kept us alive.
I see her and my obsession with time intensifies. I want to slow down the moment. To savor it before it slips away.
note: This is Day #23 of the 30 Day Experiment. Here are the details on how it all started.
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