Life Is So Funny

Life is so funny.  You set off to do one thing and that leads to another and yet another. Still uncertain of the circuitous path you are taking you learn to say yes to what feels right and no to what does not. 

And then one day you find yourself standing on stage in a ballroom in the Hotel Sofitel in Redwood Shores just down the street from the offices of companies with names like Oracle, Salesforce and Electronic Arts,  speaking to a group of entrepreneurs who are all part of the largest women's online community, BlogHer.  

Your topic is selling - that part of you that you thought you left behind when you closed the door to your corporate office for the last time.

What is even stranger is that it feels so right. As if all the energy centers you had invested yourself in had suddenly joined together to create your very own perfect storm.

When I think about it I can't help but giggle.

Me. 

The shy kid who literally clung to her mother's skirts - afraid to be seen much less heard. Who grew up amidst the noise, laughter and constant chatter of a big, fat Greek family that I was sure would never hear me even if I tried. 

So I didn't.

I kept my thoughts inside my head - finding safety only in the written word and a few very close friends, until the day my tenth grade English teacher, Mr. Keyes picked my essay to read aloud to our class.  I tried to crawl under the table. I don't recall what I wrote about but I still remember my surprise afterwards when my classmates told me how good it was. And that I wanted to believe them - but I didn't.

As it was - I was far from ready to be heard. Really heard. 

Over time, I stopped hiding. I learned to speak with ease. I learned not to be afraid to hear my own voice. I taught. I sold. I managed people. I gained confidence. But what I really thought, my views and perspective on what I thought important - that I kept inside the pile of  journals that were quickly accumulating.

Until one day - November 18, 2008 -  I started a blog.  And just like that I had readers. Readers who gave me assurances I could write and should - more and more of my truths. About life. About business. I had a place to share my stories. That's when it started to shift.

I've spoken many times before. In conference rooms, classrooms, to groups of varying sizes. But last Tuesday was the first time I spoke in a real hotel ballroom, on a stage with one of those mikes that clips on to your clothes. 

The funniest thing was I wasn't  afraid. 

Not really. 

I had just the right amount of fear. The kind  that I told the audience you use to propel yourself forward - not the kind that makes you stand still.

I felt something shift - yet again. I'm still not entirely clear on what that was but I do know that the nugget of an idea I've had for my next book took form. 

A week later and I am still surprised how much I enjoyed it. How right it felt to share what I know about business, about selling, about digital tools and marketing on a stage to a group that was mostly women sprinkled with a few good men. 

And when people tweeted nice things and told me after how much they enjoyed my talk I didn't second guess them. 

Like I said. Something shifted.

Life is so funny. 

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Blurred Lines

Someone asked me the other day to clarify who I consulted with. He wanted to know if I worked with individuals or organizations.

I said yes.

I don't think he was happy with the answer. I understand that. Within the traditional corporate structure - which is where he works - we are not interested in blurred lines. We want everything and everyone to fit into a box in a clearly defined hierarchy.

That is her job.

This is his job.

We like flow charts and job descriptions so one person does not interfere in another's playground.

But that's not how it works in real life. Not anymore.

Digital tools and the power of the Internet have blurred the lines. 

When I started selling no one in marketing liked the sales department. No one in public relations liked marketing. And IT - that was reserved for things like invoicing and had nothing to do with any of the above.

They were all silos that stood alone in the field.

No more.

Sales, Marketing and PR intersect and are lost without IT.

The same was true of  your professional and your personal life. The ability to check your work emails on Sunday in between the soccer game and a walk in the park did not exist in the last century. Those things waited until Monday. 

Clear lines of distinction.

Easier then. More complex now.

The more it changes, the more blurred the lines become.  

A digital strategy is necessary for the organization and the brand. But it's also something that every individual who wants to stay marketable within and without their company  needs to have.

As for who I work with - to be clear - the line is blurred.






I will be speaking at BlogHerPro a conference for professionally-minded online influencers interested in taking their business, marketing and technical skills to the next level. If that's you join me there and use promo code PRO13FF for 30% off BlogHer Pro '13 Registration!



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Selling Is Sleazy - Or Is It?

You say sell and people think sleazy. 

They picture Willy Loman in Death of a Salesman or Herb Tarlek of WKRP in Cincinnati. They remember Alec Baldwin's classic performance in GlenGarry Glen Ross. They think used car salesmen in plaid pants and a mismatched tie attempting to sell them a lemon.

And if they are not old enough to remember any of that - they still scrunch up their faces and scowl. 

The word 'sell' continues to conjure up images of inauthenticity and old school marketing tactics.

But not for me. I know better. I know that learning how to sell - especially in today's new economy - is essential if you want success. 


Selling is the cornerstone of commerce and has been since the beginning of time. Without something to sell, we have no economic model. Without someone to sell it there is no money earned. And last time I checked - that is the currency we use so we may put food on the table and a roof over our heads. 

There is no doubt that how we sell (like just about every other profession and industry) is in a state of disruption. Customers are more educated than ever before. And in the age of noise, we all hate - more than ever - to feel as if we are being pushed.

But the truth is that in today's brave new digital world - whether we want to admit it or not - we are selling every day. 

All of us. 

If not a product, we are selling ourselves. Through social networks and at cocktail parties. To our bosses, our employees, our husbands or wives. To that guy who might be the new boyfriend. 

Selling only becomes sleazy when 
- you don't believe in your product or service
- you don't believe in yourself. 
- there is no real value to what you are selling. 
- you try to convince someone to buy before you know if it will solve their problem.
- you don't know what their problem is and/or don't care.
- your product or service has no real use - to anyone.
- your "spin" has become so far spun that it is no longer authentic. 
- you are so busy talking you have forgotten to listen.

Selling is not just about taking the order. It's about understanding  people and their appetites. It's about creating need and filling that need. It's about understanding problems and offering solutions. It's about learning to tell a story that engages.

Nothing sleazy about that in my book.


Note- I will be speaking on why sales is a critical skill at BlogHer Pro in San Francisco October 22-23 !

BlogHer Pro is for professionally-minded online influencers interested in taking their business, marketing and technical skills to the next level. If that's you - sign up today!




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What Good Salespeople Know.....

Jane Friedman was one of the first people I discovered in the blogosphere when I started blogging over  three years ago. Her blog had a different name at the time and was housed over at Writer's Digest. Over the years her following has grown for very simple reasons. She has incredible insight and knowledge of the marketplace and consistently delivers good content. She is what I consider, a daily must read.  Which is why it is such an honor for me to be guest blogging there today!

My topic: What Good Salespeople Know That Writers Should.

Click here to read what I have to say.  Writer or not, everyone looking to earn a living can benefit from what good salespeople already know.

The More Things Change

The more things change the more they stay the same.

I spent years in a world where checking numbers was part of the program. And in numbers I mean sales. How much did I sell today eventually became how much did we sell today. Technology made it all worse. Those daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly and annual reports that at one time were printed on the remnants of thousands of dead trees could now be accessed with a click of a computer key, not to mention in real time.

Tracking sales, looking for trends, twisting them and bending them for purposes good or bad is a necessary business skill whether you are in the sales department or finance. And if sales is your game and management your title it can be a downright obsession that too often can take the focus off doing something to make that needle move.

I don't live in that world anymore. But as I said the more things change the more they stay the same.

With my novel officially published and available for sale on Amazon, I once again have access to up to the minute sales reports. I can tell how many e-books are being sold versus print books. I will be able to see if a guest post on another blog or a radio interview has an impact on sales. I can spend my day staring at a computer screen trying to will a bigger number or I can go market my wares to potential new readers, better yet, write something new and create more product. Yes, the obsession has returned.

But this time it feels different.




Now on sale for your reading pleasure at Amazon.com