Life Is So Funny

Life is so funny.  You set off to do one thing and that leads to another and yet another. Still uncertain of the circuitous path you are taking you learn to say yes to what feels right and no to what does not. 

And then one day you find yourself standing on stage in a ballroom in the Hotel Sofitel in Redwood Shores just down the street from the offices of companies with names like Oracle, Salesforce and Electronic Arts,  speaking to a group of entrepreneurs who are all part of the largest women's online community, BlogHer.  

Your topic is selling - that part of you that you thought you left behind when you closed the door to your corporate office for the last time.

What is even stranger is that it feels so right. As if all the energy centers you had invested yourself in had suddenly joined together to create your very own perfect storm.

When I think about it I can't help but giggle.

Me. 

The shy kid who literally clung to her mother's skirts - afraid to be seen much less heard. Who grew up amidst the noise, laughter and constant chatter of a big, fat Greek family that I was sure would never hear me even if I tried. 

So I didn't.

I kept my thoughts inside my head - finding safety only in the written word and a few very close friends, until the day my tenth grade English teacher, Mr. Keyes picked my essay to read aloud to our class.  I tried to crawl under the table. I don't recall what I wrote about but I still remember my surprise afterwards when my classmates told me how good it was. And that I wanted to believe them - but I didn't.

As it was - I was far from ready to be heard. Really heard. 

Over time, I stopped hiding. I learned to speak with ease. I learned not to be afraid to hear my own voice. I taught. I sold. I managed people. I gained confidence. But what I really thought, my views and perspective on what I thought important - that I kept inside the pile of  journals that were quickly accumulating.

Until one day - November 18, 2008 -  I started a blog.  And just like that I had readers. Readers who gave me assurances I could write and should - more and more of my truths. About life. About business. I had a place to share my stories. That's when it started to shift.

I've spoken many times before. In conference rooms, classrooms, to groups of varying sizes. But last Tuesday was the first time I spoke in a real hotel ballroom, on a stage with one of those mikes that clips on to your clothes. 

The funniest thing was I wasn't  afraid. 

Not really. 

I had just the right amount of fear. The kind  that I told the audience you use to propel yourself forward - not the kind that makes you stand still.

I felt something shift - yet again. I'm still not entirely clear on what that was but I do know that the nugget of an idea I've had for my next book took form. 

A week later and I am still surprised how much I enjoyed it. How right it felt to share what I know about business, about selling, about digital tools and marketing on a stage to a group that was mostly women sprinkled with a few good men. 

And when people tweeted nice things and told me after how much they enjoyed my talk I didn't second guess them. 

Like I said. Something shifted.

Life is so funny. 

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The Art Of Networking: A Checklist

For some people the idea of going to a function to network makes them break out in a rash. They might even prefer a dentist drill to the idea. I'm not one of them. I think it's fun to go into a crowded room and see who new I might meet that might help me, or me them, not to mention the chance to reconnect with someone I haven't seen in a long time. I admit to once being rather fearful and yes, even a tad shy of such situations. I obviously outgrew that.  If I hadn't I doubt I would have achieved much success in my career.

I believe networking is not an option for professional success. In fact I think it might be more critical than ever. Not only does one need to hone the skills of in-person networking, today one needs to navigate it on-line as well.

But it is the in-person opportunities that I think the most fun and the most beneficial in the long run. As humans, people still want to be in the company of other humans. We network on-line in the hopes of an in-person meeting. My first year blogging I met Colette Martin on-line. We were both ex-corporate types on a reinvention path. We connected via our blogs. But it was when we met in-person our friendship was solidified.

This past weekend I attended the BlogHer12 Conference. BlogHer is the largest on-line community of women who blog.  There were reputed to be almost 5000 attendees, mostly women meandering the conference rooms at the New York Hilton. So I guess like me, given the chance to meet face to face, one takes it.

Even a seasoned networker, like myself plans for such events.

Here's the list I consulted ahead of time, what I call my networking checklist:

1. Be prepared. Have business cards, lots of them ready and easily accessible. I like to slip mine behind my name tag so I don't need to fish around my purse too much. This year in addition to my business cards which I like to call my official coaching cards,  I also had postcards touting my books.
2. Set your intentions in advance. Are there specific people you want to meet? Or is it more general in what you want for your business? Get clear on your intentions and write down the two or three most important ones. One of the things I always include is learning at least one new thing. This year it was the art of iPhonography.
3. Know what you want to say. Some people call it the "elevator speech." I prefer the concept of "log line" which is the term screenwriters use to pitch their scripts to the studios. Whatever it is, you need to speak it clearly, concisely and with passion. In today's world you have less time then it takes me to get a regular coffee at Starbucks to get my attention. Plan for it.
4. Be authentic. As soon as people hear the word "pitch" they think canned and too often speak it as though someone just hit the play button. You are one of the most important aspects of whatever you are presenting. Let you show through.
5. Be bold. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself. Look for an entre. It could be as simple as a compliment on someone's shoes (if you really like them!) or as rehearsed as why you were seeking them out. One woman I met who has a really cool DIY website, made sure she was front and center to connect to Martha Stewart. Martha was on her intention list for the conference.
6. Be confident. Own who you are and what you are up to. Don't be afraid to shake someone's hand or look them in the eye. Confidence attracts. 
7. Dress to Impress. I dress mostly to impress myself. I know I will work a room better when I like the way I look because for me that instantly makes me feel better. Above all go for clean, pressed and well-fitting clothes that say you care enough to care about you.
8. Use your intuition. As you get more seasoned at networking you will find you will be able to gravitate to exactly who you need to meet and they to you. The clearer you are on the intentions you set the easier it will be for you to "work the room." 
9. Take Notes. Especially at a 2-day event like BlogHer. You will NEVER remember it all. I don't care how young your brain is!
10. Follow-up. This is a picture of all I accumulated over the weekend. My follow-up includes the sorting of the piles. Who do I want to follow-up with on Twitter and/or LinkedIn? Who gets added to my mailing list? Who gets a direct email from me suggesting next steps? What am I going to do with twenty yards of yellow Duck tape and why did I think it important to take?

        Bonus Tip: It is most fun and productive to attend these events with someone like minded who knows your intentions as well as their own and keeps an eye out for something or someone you might miss. A special shout out to my friend and cohort, Nancy Moon of MoonPR! It would not have been the same without you!

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San Diego Stories

Once upon a time in a world long, long ago I traveled for work. In the days before 9/11 it was fun, but never quite as glamorous as it looked from the outside. I attended meetings and conferences in almost every major city in the continental US. I learned how to navigate to get upgrades on seats. I amused myself by checking to see what  price Starbucks charged for my tall coffee in cities other than New York. But I never learned how to eliminate jet lag. Jet laggggggg. That thing that happens when you switch time zones and almost always is worse flying West to East.

So in my feeble attempt to rise above it I am going to blog just to catch up and tell you where I've been and what I've been up to.

The place was San Diego. The conference was BlogHer11. If you are not familiar BlogHer is a network of women bloggers founded in 2005 by Lisa Stone, Jory Des Jardins and Elisa Camahort Page. In six years the network now reaches 26 million women bloggers. Their growth is extraordinary.

The numbers seem to vary as to exactly how many flooded the San Diego Convention Center this year but it seems to be hovering around the 3000 mark. Yes, 3000. For those not convinced bloggers clout is sought after and growing one needed only to walk the Expo floor crowded with companies hawking samples and swag from Lindt chocolate to Scrubbing Bubbles to be convinced otherwise.  BlogHer's tribe is not just mommy bloggers and openly claims to want to push past that image, but the truth is what I saw was still predominately mommy bloggers. As we know, a mommy blogger I am not. Still I found my peeps and I got to mingle and listen to a number of very cool women on the agenda.

My highlights:

• Gretchen Rubin moderating a panel that included Brene Brown. If you have not seen Brene Brown check out her TED talk. She'll win you over and yes she is everything and more in person.
• The Hufffington Post women panel, led by Lori Leibovich including but not limited to Agapi Stassinopoulos (you know I love Greek wisdom!) and Janice Min, the woman who turned around the Hollywood Reporter.
• Getting to see what Emily McKhann of The Motherhood and the other members of One Mom Can Make a Difference did on their trip to Kenya at a special showing of the feature ABC News produced. 
• Indra Nooyi, CEO of Pepsico's Keynote. Can I just say corporate America needs more women at the helm like her? Of course I can! This is my blog!  Indra was so powerful she may warrant me writing a blog devoted to just her.

In between I got to dine with new friends Kat Gordon of Maternal Instinct and Rebecca Rivera of Digitas, chat with Lisen Stromberg of PrismWork and rejoice with Colette Martin of the impending publication of her first book on learning to eat allergy free. I even managed to squeeze in cocktails with my cousin, her husband and their friends who just happened to be in San Diego. My big fat Greek family is everywhere!

Best of all was being surrounded by my good friends Karen Quinn of TestingMom and Nancy Moon of MoonPR (If you are looking for THE best in PR, hire Nancy!) Together we managed to add seeing Blood, Sweat and Tears into the program and a jaunt to LaJolla.

After that the next best part was that for two and half days of the conference I got to practice saying out loud that The Secrets They Kept, my novel, will be published and available for sale in September. It's getting easier, but the nausea remains even though the jet lag is waning. And as for the price of Starbucks at the San Diego Marriott, $2.69 for a tall coffee!  Incredible but true, some things are cheaper in NYC!

Morning walks at the San Diego Pier..you just never know who you will run into!

Wandering the Web

I've been wandering the web this week.

For where I have been and what I have been writing check out these two links.

I Am A Blogger

I am a Blogger.

There was a time when I did not know what the word meant. It conjured up a picture of some pudgy little creature that fed on swamp growth.  Little did I know Blog is a blend of two words, web and log.

My friend Laura Dawson, a pioneer agent in social networking and digital media was the first person I knew that blogged. I have to admit I did not pay much attention then. I was still immersed in the world of Cable Television. One day we were new media and the next the Internet arrived and we became old media. And like most people who sit on the other side of the table from agents of change, I was skeptical. Who was going to read a Blog? How would people find these Blogs? How could you make money from Blogging?  It never crossed my mind at the time that I would one day have a Blog of my own.

But I do.
I am a Blogger.

I launched my blog on November 18, 2008. Most blogs don't last three months.  I write a Blog but I also read them. I aspire to have people feel about my Blog the way I do about Seth Godin's. I never want to miss one and he always makes me think.

I have a following that is growing steadily. I suppose I could up the ante on that by writing a highly controversial or very angry rant that has no fact behind it or  posting outlandish pictures of myself in compromising situations but that is not what my blog is about. It is about what I think and what I see in this third chapter of my life, the post corporate section. It is about reinvention, rejuvenation and inspiration. And it is about good writing.


I am a Blogger and this week I am attending my first BlogHer Conference.

BlogHer is the largest community of women bloggers as well as a media company. They have been around since 2005. This conference is a hot ticket. In fact, there is no doubt that if I wanted to I could sell mine at a much higher price than what I paid for it. But I am not selling.

I am Blogger. And I am going to my first BlogHer Conference.

I am not sure what to expect, what I will learn, and what I will be surprised I know already.
I am sure there will much discussion as to how to make money from Blogging. And that is a good thing, although not the intention I had when I started this.  I launched my Blog to establish my writing platform. It was the first real grounding I had just a few months out of a world I had spent twenty five years in. I saw it as my daily writing practice, a place to grow my readership before my novels were published. A place where a potential editor might get a taste of my voice. A place where I could go each day and connect with the world.

I am a Blogger and I am going to a conference of BlogHers.

I have attended more than my fair share of conferences and know enough that the most important part is the networking. I'm planning on doing a lot of that.