Gratitude Needs No Holiday

Don't get me wrong. As far as holidays go, Thanksgiving ranks among my favorite. There is no pressure to buy gifts. No religious affiliation. No preparation besides the actual meal.

Thanksgiving is easy. It's about sitting around watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, pretending football is of any importance and eating more food than you usually do - without guilt. Not that I usually sit around or watch football. But that's beside the point. The point of this holiday is about giving thanks.

It dates back to 1621 when the Plymouth colonists and the Wampanoag Indians shared an autumn harvest feast but it was not until 1863 in the midst of the Civil War that President Abraham Lincoln declared a national day of Thanksgiving to be held each November.

My point is that we shouldn't need the excuse of a holiday that comes but once a year to express our gratitude.  

It seems to me this should be an every day occurrence. We should listen to the wisdom of Deepak Chopra who advises that gratitude is the doorway to abundance. Or listen to Regena Thomashauer who will tell you unacknowledged good turns to shit.

We shouldn't need an excuse but apparently we do. 

We've gotten so conditioned to always look for what's missing that we forget to acknowledge what is sitting right in front of us. From the big stuff like the generous pay raise to the little stuff - like holding the hand of someone we love.

We forget.

So we need the reminder. We need to force ourselves to sit still long enough, our bellies stuffed full of turkey, mashed potatoes and pecan pie and say Thank-You.

I am grateful.
For all I have been blessed with.

For my friends and my family
For the work I get to do
For wonderful clients
For fabulous students that keep me on my toes
For my readers
For this incredible city I get to call my home
For the gift of waking this morning to a new day full of possibilities
For sunshine and blue skies
For rain pelting against my window pane
For....

See - this is what happens when you take the time to be grateful. Once you get started it feels so good - it's hard to stop!

Gratitude does not need a holiday nor should it. But I am most grateful it has one. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Mark your calendar! I'll be reading my essay from An Anthology of Babes: 36 Women Give Voice To Motherhood along with the editor and creatix of this wonderful book, Suzi Banks Baum on December 5, 2013 on the UES. Hope to see you there!!


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What I Really Want

Monday was my birthday.  I woke up at 4AM. Not on purpose. It just happened. Maybe it was the sound of the wind and the rain pounding against my window. But maybe not.

In any case I found myself far too awake to linger in the cozy warmth of my bed. So I didn't. It was, after all, my birthday. And as usual when things don't go completely with my plan, I appease myself and assume there is a bigger reason for why things are in disarray - one that a power greater than little ol' me has not yet clued me into.

Maybe I was supposed to be up so early so I had more moments to savor my special day. To think. To enjoy. To respond to the 150 + Happy Birthday messages I got from my Facebook "friends." Or perhaps this was just the Universe - along with a dozen or so real people reminding me I have not been writing as much as I like to - or need to.

So I made myself a cup of steaming water flavored with a wedge of fresh lemon and turned on the computer. I'd like to tell you that what I did in the darkness before dawn was open up  one of the assortment of writing projects I store on my hard drive. But I'd be lying.

I started with that modern day distractor and often time waster we call email. There was one from Deepak and Oprah. It was not to wish me a Happy Birthday.  It was the link to their latest 21-day Meditation Challenge I've been participating in.  The subject of the meditation - on my birthday - was "What Do I Want?"

That was an awfully big question so early in the morning. One that made my stomach hurt.

I considered going back to bed and waiting until the sun was up. But I was too wide awake.

So I stared at the email and I pondered how to answer the question.

Let's face it -  it was well suited for my birthday and perhaps the reason I had woken up so early. To give me extra time to come up with an answer.


What Do I Want?

- A house on the beach. Not near the beach. On the beach.
- My next book to make the best seller list
- To write that book.
- Before that - to get the proposal finished.
- Before that - to start the proposal.
- That very overpriced Vince Leather Trimmed Puffer Coat I  saw at Bloomingdales on Friday.

I could go on. And on. And on some more.

Those lists are easy.

But I know better than to think that  Deepak and Oprah were asking because they were planning an episode of her favorite things and wanted to surprise me. 

The question was bigger than the material things. Not that finishing my next book is necessarily material. But this question was bigger than that. 

So - What Do I Really Want ?

Whether it's about work or play the answer came clear.

To love and be loved.

Deepak told me my heart knew the answer.

He was right.

And I'm grateful to have woken early enough to give the question the thought it deserved.


What about you? What do you really want?


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Meditation As A Survival Skill

About a year ago I was told that for me, meditation was not an option. It was a survival skill.  At that point I had  incorporated a meditation practice into my life for a few years so that information resonated with me. Meditation had already made its way to the short list of things that I had to do every day, like brush my teeth and exercise.

It was something I had resisted in my corporate days. My excuse being that I simply did not have the time to do it. If anyone had ever told me then what I know now, that as little as fifteen minutes of daily meditation will actually create more time and space in your day, I would have laughed in their face. I've no doubt that those of you who are corporate types reading this now, are doing just that.

But it's true. And the survival skill aspect is becoming more crucial than ever.

The nosier our world gets, the more distractions thrown in our path each day, the more important it is to find the space to shut it all out. As little as fifteen minutes a day of  emptying our mind of extraneous thought and focusing on our breath can have profound effects.

While many of us are deluded into believing our smartphones are our life source, it is really our breath. Giving yourself this gift of quiet will allow you to sift through what is really important in all that is thrown at you from what is nonsense. It will also help you to get you clear on the direction you need to be taking.

If you don't believe me, I suggest you pick up a copy of A Mindful Nation by Congressman Tim Ryan who is on a mission to bring meditation into the schools and sees it to be as a way to heal our nation. If you are feeling really brave and ready to dip your toes in the meditation waters, I recommend checking out Deepak Chopra's website for some easy to listen to guided meditation challenges.

And if you find you can't carve out even fifteen minutes for yourself to give this a whirl, you really need to get a handle on your time and read  It Takes An Egg Timer, A Guide to Creating the Time for Your Life. 


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OWN: The Antidote to 24/7 Cable News

To any of the myriad of news organizations out there that have been predicting the demise  of the OWN network,  the reports have been greatly exaggerated. One need only to have been in the audience, as I was yesterday afternoon at Radio City Music Hall to know that. Some six thousand people, mostly women, filled the seats of what is perhaps the greatest venue anywhere. The people I talked to came on buses, trains, planes and cars. They were friendly and happy and grateful that their name had been picked out of all the requests to attend. They have not written off Oprah and her network. They are just reigniting their love affair. And they were patient as they waited on line to be ushered to their seats.

Not like those who  have Google Alerts set for Oprah + OWN + failure and await the next update. Or those of our media who insist upon writing and reporting on the news from a place of scarcity and fear.  Ingrained to look for the worst, find the chinks in the armor, get out of the present and predict doom and gloom because that is what they are directed to do from their corner offices.  They are convinced that is what makes headlines and that is what creates ratings which creates higher ad rates and more advertisers and of course, more money.

None of that ilk is willing to be brave and step forward and take a chance that just maybe that is not true. Just maybe the world is clamoring for something new and refreshing. Something without backstabbing, lies and angry words. Something that will inspire them to live their best lives. Except Oprah.

At a time in her life, where money is not of consequence. When she could as she said, sit under her tree with her dogs and read books, she sees a greater purpose to her success. She wants to use her voice and her platform as a source of inspiration.

Oprah is not a quitter. Oprah is willing to get on CBS This Morning and talk about how much more difficult this is than what she expected. She displays humility and realness and the press twists that  to create an unflattering soundbite. Again, because they are convinced the only reality we want is scripted “reality” television.

I believe they are the ones wrong and Oprah is the one who is right. I am not sure she could have picked a more perfect time than this time, as the world undergoes such a dramatic energetic shift to launch a network with an entirely new and untried format. 

Real change is never easy.  Those who don't like it wait for it to fail, in fact even hope that it does. Because that in some twisted way allows them to stand still, justify their own lives and not risk what they have for what might be.  

I'm an idealist and an optimist. I believe more want hope. They want guidance. They want inspiration. They want to let go of their fears. And Oprah is offering them that 24/7, seven days a week. The antidote if you will to 24/7 cable news.

I'm still reverberating in the energy of yesterday's experience. To be in that room, to see Oprah's brilliance on stage aside the wisdom and gentle humor of Deepak Chopra (who for the record I am more in love with than ever) reminded me of why I am doing what I am doing. To live my life with purpose, to inspire others and to paraphrase Deepak, help to transform the world through my personal transformation.

The show airs April 23. Set your DVR.

And Oprah, if I should be so lucky that you read this blog, in answer to the question we were asked in advance of the taping, what is the one thing that would most change your life at this moment, mine would be you reading my novel, The Secrets They Kept and adding it to your Book List!