What I Don't Do Enough Of

There are a lot of things I do not do enough of. I don't exercise enough. I don't pick up the phone enough to call my friends as much as I text or email. I don't visit museums enough. 

Most importantly I don’t write and read enough.

The definition of enough is nebulous -  “as much or as many as required.” What is enough for someone  is too much for someone else and too little for yet another. Which means that while I may think I don't do something enough - from where you sit it may look like exactly enough.

Enough is a judgment call. While I like to think I don't judge, I do. Mostly myself, for not doing enough.

Over time I've learned to recognize the symptoms of not enough for me.

I know I am not writing enough when my soul feels hollow. When there are words caught in my throat and my energy wanes. When I feel I am not being heard and I know it is because I am not  saying anything. When all I want to do is lay on the couch and watch something mindless on television - including the commercials.

I know I am not reading enough when I am left uninspired and disconnected and when I can't or don't  write. Reading used to hex me into not writing until one day it began to inspire me to write more - to be as good as the author whose book I finished and sometimes to recognize that - yes - my writing is just as good as theirs. 

My writing does not yet garner enough income to pay all the bills. Yet being the operative word. But when I am busy with my other stuff -  the stuff that does pay the bills, I label reading to be a luxury I have no time for. Writing is something I start fitting in as opposed to prioritizing.  While I am aware on some level that I am not feeding myself enough of the fuel I need to be my best and most passionate self, the dance sustains itself. 

Until something happens to break the pattern.

I read. 

And when I say read, I don't mean Facebook posts or Tweets. I mean books. Fiction. Non-fiction. Like the one I just finished by Claire Cook. 

I mean reading something that matters.

I've followed Claire's path since I left corporate. For a long time I wanted to be Claire. Even though Claire’s married with two grown children and living in Atlanta life and writing is nothing like my own. 

I wanted to have Claire's success. I aspired to have my novel made into a movie and walk the red carpet. 

I no longer want to be Claire. I want to be me. But I would still like that success. Yet it won't happen - it won't have a shot in hell - if I am not writing.

Every time I read Claire’s very simple formula for turning out as many novels as she has (which she very wisely repeats throughout the book in case you are not paying attention) I heard the little aHa in the back of my brain.  Two pages, every morning before anything else. Times Roman. 12pt. Double spaced. Seven days a week.That’s roughly 500 words of which I have already exceeded here.  Not that hard to accomplish if one is disciplined enough not to let Twitter get in the way.

It's not like I had never heard that before. I have. I've done morning pages. I read The Artist’s Way. I know the power of discipline. In fact I have written about it in my own book on creating time. I also know that discipline to what is most important to fuel our souls - requires discipline.

Claire's book did not tell me anything I did not know already. Yet that did not make it any less worthwhile to read. Books like this one are meant to inspire and remind you of the things you've let yourself forget. Just like the characters in her novels do - the easy, breezy beach reads that transport, make you smile and just when you least expect it make you go aHa!

Claire inspired me to start today writing first - before anything else. Right here in this Starbucks on Broadway and 63rd Street, as the morning crowd forms around me.  She reminded me that reinvention - like just about everything else in life is not a destination but an ongoing process of tweaks and turns and is not for the faint of heart. Most importantly she made me see that somehow in this crazy, circuitous path of reinvention I have created these last years, of late I have not been doing enough of the things I love and crave and need to sustain myself the most. 

It may not yet be enough (there goes that word again) to pay the bills, but it is necessary to fuel my soul and free me for what does. 

Claire's latest book and first non-fiction is Never Too Late: Your Roadmap To Reinvention. An inspiring and anecdotal account of her own and continuing journey of reinvention, complete with good advice and useful tools. #recommendedreading

Holiday Gift Guide

If you're like me you like receiving gifts. And if you're really like me, you also like giving them. Especially when you come upon something a little different, clever, or creative. Something that really suits that person or that they would not necessarily think to get themselves. Something that does not say mass produced.

Here are a few of my off the beaten track ideas for gift giving,
all created by entrepreneurs !

The Gift of Giving Back
Check out the store over at the Flawless Foundation!
 "Flawless takes a stand for more humane, compassionate care for children and adolescents who live with mental health and neurodevelopmental challenges."
A percentage of all purchases will benefit this wonderful organization founded by Janine Francolini. You can choose from a custom designed Flawless necklace and a variety of beautiful handloom scarves.

The Gift of Intuitive Healing
This is perfect anytime of the year, but even more so during the holiday season when chaos abounds and your heads seems disconnected from your body. A healing session with Laura Wood is truly like a visit to the spa for your spirit! In fact this is one gift  you might want to give yourself!

The Gift of Thoughtfulness
Wendy Knox, like me is a corporate expatriate reinventing her life. In fact when I first found her site I read her story and it sounded remarkably like mine. Now among other things, she designs these gorgeous OhMyGoddess! Cards, appropriate for a variety of occasions, gift boxed and ready to give the goddess in your life. As an extra benefit, a portion of the proceeds will go to writegirl.org, a non-profit that empowers high school girls through mentorship and self-expression.

The Gift of a Good Read
Yes, I consider an author an entrepreneur. And books make great gifts. Clever authors like Claire Cook will even send you a signed book plate to make your gift a little extra special. (note to self: I will be using that idea when my books go to press!) Check out my bookshelf at Goodreads for more ideas on great reads!

The Gift of Burlesque
My good friend, long time entrepreneur and owner of Brazil Bronze Glow Bar tanning salons, Sally Blenkey-Tchassov's  latest creation is Burlesque Bikini Boot Camp which incorporates "aerobics, strength training, ballet and yoga with the burlesque art of the tease " for a fun and very sexy workout. Gift one session or a packet of five or join the fun at the Naughty to be Nice Party this Tuesday in NYC benefiting the House of Loveness.

The Gift of Jewelry
If the recipient of your gift is like me and covets jewelry that is unique and elegant, check out Linda Stryker Jewelry. And if you are feeling really generous, give the gift of a gift certificate for a custom designed piece that Linda will create to the gift receiver's specifications.

The Gift of Coaching
Yes, I am wrapping up this gift list with a little self promotion. I'm offering a special ninety minute coaching session with follow up. This is the perfect gift for that person is your life who is ready to get serious about shaking things up and seeing what they can create next. There is not a better way to start the year than with a little introspection on how to get it off to a good start! This is another of those great gifts you can even give yourself!

Happy Holidays!

Vote for Claire Cook

I wrote off my love affair with Dancing with the Stars at the beginning of this season. Their definition of star and mine no longer jived. It was all just too much for me to bear and so I deleted the DVR setting for Monday and Tuesday evenings and found other things to occupy my time.

But there just might be a way for the show to win me back. A petition is underway that started through Media Bistro and GalleyCat to include an author in the next season's lineup. Yes, Author.  In my book an author is a celebrity. Especially one with several publications to her credit, one of which has been made into a major motion picture.

If we can call Bristol Palin and The Situation "stars" why has not  one successful author ever  been given a chance to win the Mirror Ball trophy? Why are we not celebrating good writers who entertain us with words and story as "stars"?  If Dancing with the Stars is redefining "star" and "celebrity" why are authors not included in the mix?

With that I invite you to visit the Facebook petition and cast your vote for my friend, reinventor and author Claire Cook.  Claire has written seven books, her most famous, Must Love Dogs made it to the silver screen. She is totally up for this ride. All we have to do is convince  those casting folks over at ABC and Dancing with the Stars!

Give her a thumbs up and encourage your friends to do the same !

To Read, Perchance To Smile

I was practicing my elevator pitch for my book on a former colleague today. When I was done he asked me if the book has a happy ending.  My reply was easy. Of course it does. I believe in happy endings. In a world that seems overly consumed with the negative and the idea that doomsday is just a breath away I have no interest in reading a book or watching a movie that leaves me feeling worse than when I started. I have 24/7 news for that.

Which is just one of the reasons why I love Claire Cook's books. Claire's books entertain me. They make me laugh and they make me think.

I first blogged about Claire Cook last July.  In that blog I told the story of how we met via Twitter after a woman who turned out to be her book editor read a blog I wrote and suggested we connect. Since that time  we've remained cyberspace friends. I love being around women like Claire who remind me that my dream can and will be realized as hers has.

Claire is a reinventor. She wrote her first book at 45 and just this month published her seventh book, aptly titled Seven Year Switch. I finished it last night.  The characters she creates are hard not to like, so much so, you're sorry when you get to the last page that you have to leave them. The good news is if you  discovering her writing for the first time, there are six other novels that came before this one to lose yourself in and no doubt more to come. Now that's what I call a happy ending!