Nana Would #StandWithWendy - Day 4

My grandmother, Nana as we called her, had a reputation for having a big mouth. She was loud and funny and always managed to get things to happen that seemed otherwise impossible. And she made it fun. She wasn't afraid to stand up for herself or for any of her children or grandchildren - each and every one who would tell you they were sure they were her favorite. Including me - her namesake. She knew how to put attention on another person. She had that kind of charm. Nana never shied from  telling you what her opinion - on any subject was - and she had a lot of opinions.

Born on December 25 in 1898 (or at least that is the year we think she was born) she immigrated to the United States at the age of three.  Her marriage was arranged - to a man who was her polar opposite. Nana was warm and engaging and vocal. Popou was distant, rarely smiling and not very affectionate. From how I saw the woman that I called my grandmother I would guess telling her who she was going to marry was the last time anyone told her what to do.


Nana was a working mom. She wasn't much of a cook and did not care to learn. She had a job at Saks - back when there was a Saks on 34th Street. She painted her nails red, had a thing for hats and fox stoles. She was involved in lots of organizations, at one time President of the Greek Philoptochus and even went so far as to leave Popou at home and go on trips with her girlfriends. She had a lot of girlfriends. And when she became pregnant with her youngest and was over the age of forty, the doctor's first thought was that my uncle Alex must be a tumor.

Nana was not your typical Greek-American woman living in Brooklyn in the world pre Roe vs. Wade.

I was thinking about Nana as I watched Senator Wendy Davis stand in the Texas legislature in her pink sneakers last week. That was the kind of thing Nana would do. Speak her voice. Be bold. Make sure she was heard and that she accomplished what she wanted  and what she knew was the right thing to do. All the while  making sure she was comfortable in her shoes.

I thought about her again when Ohio stripped women of their right to privacy in a budget bill that effectively denies women the power to decide what procedures they should elect for their bodies. 

Whether Nana was for or against abortion I don't know. She died in 1969 before Roe vs. Wade was passed.  But I what I do know is regardless of what her thinking would have been that she believed a woman had a right to an opinion and a right to do what she thought best and that no man, woman or legislature knew better than she did what was right for her. You see Nana knew what it was like to be a woman in this country and not be allowed to vote until 1920. 

As I said earlier, the woman for whom I was named would have a lot to say on this subject. She would question why these people are so persistent in spending their time trying to take away hard fought women's rights instead of focusing on more important issues like getting the guns off the street. There is no doubt she would poke some fun at their squirrelly faces. But she would also get just angry enough to open that big mouth she had a reputation for having and remind me it was in my genes to do the same. She would also be happy that I use my blog to do just that.

Nana would #StandWithWendy as do I. I'm sure of it.




note: This is Day #4 of a 30 Day Experiment. Here are the details on how it all started.

Doubt - You Devil - Day 3

Doubt is the devil in disguise. No matter how certain you are that what you are doing is the right thing,  that where you are is where you are supposed to be, that who you’ve chosen to keep close personally are the right people, doubt will find you. It will test you. Some days it will get its hands around your neck and try to choke the life out of you.

At least that’s been my experience.

I have met doubt head on countless times in these last five years. Often it came disguised in the form of a person who I thought was a supporter. Who questioned  my choices. Who waited anxiously for me to do what they predicted. Give up. Go back to working in a job that had lost its juice for me. Who believed and still does that there is no other way than the corporate way.

Those people tested me. They tested my resolve. Forced me to acknowledge my truth.  And for that I am grateful. 

They also reminded me. My worst fear was and has been - having to go  back to living a life pretending that it was okay to rationalize my not being happy in exchange for a guaranteed paycheck every two weeks.

So why is doubt on my mind today?

Because it's the 4^th of July!

Our ancestors pushed past their doubts - and I am sure there were many - to pursue their dreams of a better life and to fight for what they believed in. 

It’s also the first anniversary of the death of my friend Joe.

I was in the midst of one of those attacks of doubt when the phone rang and it was his cousin calling to tell me the news of his passing. It didn't take long for my tears to wash away my uncertainties.

Death has this way of reminding us just how short life really  is and how important it is to do what you want to do, what you are meant to do and with whom. Without a doubt.

I would have preferred another reminder that day not to doubt myself,  but Joe always liked to make his point in a big way - this time with fireworks as his exclamation point. 

Happy 4th of July!

note: This is Day #3 of a 30 Day Experiment. Here are the details on how it all started.

Can I Really Do This? - Day 2

I’m a little terrified. Here it is day 2 and it’s hitting me that I have committed to this experiment - publicly. Which means there is no turning back.

Oh yes - I could turn back. Dump this whole idea here and now but that is not how I roll. As a rule I follow through on what I commit to. Yes, I’ve had my moments where that does not happen. When I’ve eaten the entire cheeseburger on the non-gluten free bun and every single french fry that came with it when I could have substituted for salad and when I promised myself that I was only eating greens and salmon all week. But anyone who knows me and knows me well knows I’m pretty disciplined. So I am not planning on reneging on my commitment to post for 29 more days. At least not yet :)

What I will do is acknowledge that this is not going to be easy. That this is a challenge. That I am going to have to let go of that thing writer’s get that makes us keep our stories under cover until they are exquisitely perfect.

Yes, I admit it. I am Joanne Tombrakos and I am a perfectionist.

Which on the one hand has proven to be a good thing in my life. Quality is something I value and what people have come to expect of me. But on the other hand it has often held me back. Kept me waiting for those rare moments when all the stars are aligned. Perfectly.

The truth is nothing will ever be perfectly perfect. Take yesterday when the newsletter announcement of this experiment included a misspelling of 'prolific' - after it went out and I couldn't change it!!  I cannot tell you how many times I reread that section!  I suppose my worries about being prolific left me unable to spell it correctly.

I'm going to let that blunder go and remind myself that if I could leave behind a twenty-five year career - I can certainly post thirty days worth of blogs.

hitting......... publish....... NOW.



note: This is Day #2 of a 30 Day Experiment. Here are the details on how it all started.

The Experiment

I am about to celebrate the five year anniversary of my divorce from nine to five corporate life. Yes, you read that right. Five years!

It’s causing me to reflect. On many things. Including this blog which has not been getting the attention it needs and deserves.

While I aspire to be as prolific as Seth Godin and share something here every day - I don’t.  It seems as though while my life has expanded exponentially to include teaching and coaching and consulting, my energies have been dispersed. For a reason I cannot yet explain, it’s taken me away from what my initial intention was when creating this blog. To write. About what I see, what I think and what I feel. And to share it.

So I have decided in honor of this upcoming landmark event to launch an experiment. Beginning today for thirty days, I am going to post every day. It’s something I’ve never done but have always wanted to.

Thirty was a number I chose, for no other reason than it felt right. I’ve since been informed that thirty days is the amount of time needed to commit to something in order for a shift to occur.

A shift. That’s what I’m after.

You should know I’m doing this for very selfish reasons. The most important being a desire for clarity. You see everything feels like it’s falling into place - but I’m still not sure. And for me writing is about more than the joy I feel from the possibility I might entertain my readers, offer some insight or inspire them to try something new. It’s about me being able to breathe. I write because I have to. Because I need to. Because it is my passion at the core of all my other passions.

Like the very first post I wrote here on November 18, 2008 - I have no idea exactly what I will be writing for the next month. It might stay on target with what I have been writing - but there are no promises. I may lose readers. I may gain some. But again - the person I am doing this for the most is me. Which as a marketer might sound contrary to what I “should” do. But like I said - this is merely an experiment.

p.s I’ll be looking for inspiration. So if you have a question for me that you’d like answered, leave it in the comments section and I’ll do my best to serve something up.

pps. If you don’t already subscribe to my blog and would like all thirty days of blogging to be delivered by email, you can sign up here. 

pps. If it’s not doing it for you, feel free to unsubscribe whenever you are so moved.