How Not To Make A New Connection On LinkedIn

I love LinkedIn. I think if it is used properly it can be a powerful tool to network, market and build your business. The idea that I can peruse new connections at any hour of the day or night whilst in my yoga pants with no make-up on, is nothing short of a modern day miracle. Yet I continue to be amazed at how many people just don't get how to use it properly.

For example, last week I got what at first glance appeared to be a personalized email from someone who apparently I "share a group in common" with.  Don't ask me which group. The writer did not get that personal. 

Still he asked if I might like to connect further.

I don't. 

Here's why.

The next paragraph told me what he did, his closing ratio and how big the deals averaged. 

Nice information. But why should I care?

The paragraph after that was the real kicker. He asked if I have "considered or are considering going into consulting?" 

This was when I knew - with absolute certainty - that this was a form letter and I don't connect with form letters. 

Not that I don't suggest having a good, well written piece on hand with which to introduce oneself. The key is to remember to personalize it.

He didn't. If he had he might have noticed that my title in my LinkedIn profile includes the word "consultant." He might have read my summary which talks about my "consulting." 

But he didn't. 

The underlying message of his note was that he doesn't do his homework very well. There are no excuses for that - especially in a world where it is as easy as a Google search. 

At this point I saw this as material for a blog so I went nosing around on his website. It confirmed my suspicions that he was trying to sell me something. In this case becoming licensed by his consortium.

As I have written many times before - we are all trying to sell something. That is not my issue with this. My issue is - if you are going to do that start by doing your homework. 

He didn't have to read too far to see I was already consulting. In that case his pitch should have been something to intrigue me why a connection with his group is going to help me. 

But he didn't.

My guess is one of two things happened.

He relied on an automated system that probably pulled my name out of the pile through keywords.

He (or whoever he assigned this task to) didn't bother to think.

In an increasingly automated, digital world the need for humanization increases proportionately. 

You want to make a new connection? 

Tell me something that makes me feel like you care enough to at least read my LinkedIn profile first. Or perhaps, listen to this new Soundcloud audio version of what I do. In either case, do your homework first.

12 Alternatives To Selling

I hear it all the time. From smart, creative entrepreneurs and corporate executives alike.

"I can't sell."
"I am not a salesperson." 
"There are a lot of things I am good at - but selling is not one of them."
"I could never do that!"

The unfortunate news for them is that in a very noisy 24/7, interconnected world in which everyone has a voice and a platform on which they can be heard and in which the skinny on who you really are or what your business is about is nothing more than a Google search away - the truth is we are all selling - even if we don't want to admit it. 

But before you can hone those skills, my advice is to look to reframe the word "sell" into something that sounds more appealing.

If you are one of those people who say they "can't sell" or for whom the mere mention of the word makes them break out in hives, try one of these alternatives.

• invite 
• enroll 
• educate 
• influence 
• captivate 
• inspire 
• seduce 
• engage 
• persuade
• entice 
• solve a problem 
• tell a really good story 

If you can do any one or combination of the above, you can sell. In fact, you've been selling all along - you just didn't realize it. 

6 Reasons Asking Is Risky Business

Asking is not something that comes naturally to me. It wasn't how I was raised. I was raised to stand on my own two feet and to figure it out for myself - whatever "it" was. If you asked you were imposing on the other person. And that just wasn't a nice thing to do.

Which made learning to ask a client for the order that much harder for me when I first started selling.

I learned to get past my reluctance. I had to or my selling career would have been short lived. But it wasn't easy. And the dirty little secret is - I still have moments when asking - for help, for the order, even a question - is the last thing I want to do. 

But I do. Because I know if I don't I'll never know the answer and I'll never move from the spot I'm in.

That doesn't mean it's not risky. For example - 

1. I'm taking the chance I might not like the answer. I've lost track of how many times I have not asked a question because I didn't know if I wanted to hear the answer. 
2. I don't really want to hear a no. No is a tough word. No sounds so final. No. No. No. Yet the truth is a no is so much better than a maybe  - which is the answer you're getting when you don't ask. Maybe is limbo. It's nowhere land. With no at least you know where you stand.
3. I think I'm imposing. Old learning dies hard. I still sometimes think I'm infringing on someone else's space when I ask.
4. I risk being perceived as pushy. No one wants to be thought of as pushy - except of course the person who really is and doesn't care.
5. I think the person knows what I want already. I've made this mistake a thousand times - and whether it's been personally or professionally I've learned that no one can read my mind. If I don't ask I don't get.
6. I think asking is for the weak or ignorant. A strong person doesn't need help. A smart person already knows the answers. When the truth is it takes more courage to ask that not to and smart people get smarter by asking.


While I have learned how to ask - easily and with grace - there are moments when my stomach still does flips, my mouth still goes dry or my hand starts to shake before I make the call. But I do it. Because if I don't I'll just never know what would have happened if I did.



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