When They Don't Get It And You Do

Earlier this week I was checking my Google Analytics and noticed more traffic than usual to my site. I clicked the links to discover that a blog I wrote  on what to do if you get a pink slip that also appeared on The Huffington Post had been repurposed for The Sydney Morning Herald, The Brisbane Times  and The Canberra Times.  In Australia!

I was pretty excited. I was living one of those miracle moments of the digital world. My "sagely advice" was being quoted in Australia - literally halfway around the world! As a blogger and as a writer that is a very good day. 

That evening I was having dinner with some friends. I was still bursting with my unexpected discovery when I arrived at the restaurant, so I shared. 

The first response I got was "Are they paying you for that?"

I kept what I wanted to say inside of my head - which was  - are you #@!##!! kidding me? I just tell you that my post is picked up in a major paper in Australia and all you want to know is if I got paid for it!!??


What I did let out of my mouth was this.

"No, they didn't pay me. But they certainly credited me. And really - I got picked up in Australia!"

"Yeah, but they should pay you for it."

I found myself starting to defend the whole thing. To explain to this man who spends his days locked inside a corporate office the value of exposure to an entirely new audience - for my writing and for my business. That allowing sharing on the web as long as it is attributable to the author can ultimately result in more money than being paid for the article. (Not that being paid wouldn't be nice). I told him in the world of marketing this is called earned media.  I explained what a Creative Commons License meant.  I tried to make him see that I get to do what I love, and someone on the far side of the globe noticed it's value.

But then I noticed the vacant look in his eyes. 

He didn't get it. He wasn't going to get it. In fact I'm not sure he wanted to.

He is a part of the old way of doing business in which the cardinal rule is to never do anything unless  there is a direct and clear money line attached. The idea of being generous with your ideas is foreign to them. They are not sure how to spell 'free' much less offer it. They don't understand the value of online connection unless they see immediate monetization. The only metric of success they value is money.

I took a long sip of my wine. I smiled and let the conversation go elsewhere. It didn't matter that he didn't get it. I do. And for that I am very grateful.



Note- I will be speaking at BlogHerPro a conference for professionally-minded online influencers interested in taking their business, marketing and technical skills to the next level. If that's you join me there and use promo code PRO13FF for 30% off BlogHer Pro '13 Registration!



Like this blog? Don't want to miss the next one? Sign up here to have it delivered right to your mailbox! 

On Being Brave

I wasn't a brave kid. Take me someplace new and I did not stray far from my mother's side. I was shy. Afraid to open my mouth. Never knowing what to say. Terrified I might be  made fun of.  

I remember how it felt to be like that. When fear would consume my core and render me immobile. Unable to take a step much less even explain what I was feeling. 

To know me today, this might sound hard to believe. But it's true. Just ask my mother. She'll illustrate with the story of what happened when we first moved to Glen Oaks. 

The neighborhood, which sits on the outskirts of Queens, was an idyllic place to raise a family in the sixties. The apartments surrounded big grass courtyards lined with benches and filled with baby boomer kids allowed to play outside without having to schedule a date to do so. The neighbors watched out for each other. It was a safe place.

Apparently I was not convinced. 

One of those first days in the new apartment I was outside. My mother heard me screaming at the top of my lungs and raced to my side to find me standing in the middle of a circle of kids, tears streaming down my face, tiny fists clutched tight to my doll carriage.

I was too busy crying to say a word so she asked the kids what happened. They told her they didn't know.They told her they were just trying to be my friend.

That's how not brave a kid I was. 

I've struggled with being courageous and with speaking my mind for most of my life. I know what's it like when my body reacts, my mouth goes bone dry or my legs feel like they might give way underneath me.

Sometimes I've been clumsy in how I've gone about overcoming my insecurities. Somedays I still am. Somedays that inner child, the little insecure girl afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing wants to come out and play. 

I've learned how to deal with her now. But she has also made me acutely aware of what it takes to be really brave. She knows that even if it looks easy, it never is. And she still reminds me to pause and take note when someone else is stretching into their own courageous acts.

When I see a young woman, like Christina Huffington on the Today Show talking openly about how her addiction to cocaine almost killed her, I am in awe. When I read her articles on the Huffington Post and her story in Glamour, I am struck by her ability to be that articulate and honest about something that - given the option - which she had - most would hide from the public. She chose to be brave. She chose to demonstrate courage. She doesn't need the notoriety. She was born into it. Her mother is Arianna Huffington. She chose brave so that she might help others with her story.

I don't know what it's like to have that kind of substance addiction to anything but chocolate or coffee. 

But I do know what it's like to push past what might otherwise limit us. I know how appealing the choice to run and hide and not say a word can be. I know the risk that comes from putting yourself out there as fair game in a digital world in which there is no topic we will all ever agree on and something called Twitter that invites open discussion which too often includes spewing not so nice comments. 

I still struggle with being brave every day. Each time I hit publish on this blog and expose a little more of who I am and how I think  I get a little braver. But I never stop being scared.


Note: The doodle is an original - created on a very cool new social site called Doodle.ly


Like this blog? Don't want to miss the next one? Sign up here to have it delivered right to your mailbox! 

How I Learned to Love Something I Never Thought I Would

I was a monogamous kind of girl in a committed relationship. For what seemed to be forever. I did not stray. Until I was forced to. Until I was given no other choice. Until I felt I had been abandoned. My needs no longer met.

At first I thought it was a rumor. Some little piece of gossip that had been created to sell a newspaper or make a good lead for a story. But then one day...........


YES..to find out what this is all about you'll have to click on over to The Huffington Post!! It's where the full article is.

( do feel free to comment, Tweet or share the link on Facebook!)

The Signs

The signs are there if you stop long enough to pay attention. For my advice on how to know if its time to leave your job, please click here to read my first of what I intend to be many, articles on The Huffington Post.