The Zen Of Shredding - Day 29

When you live in New York you get used to periodically going on a rampage and throwing stuff out. Living in small spaces forces you not to accumulate too much for one simple reason - most of us just don't have the room to. 

Sometimes I plan the decluttering activity. Sometimes it just sweeps over me - an unplanned project that once I start - I can't stop. 

Like Sunday night. After an idyllic few days out of the city, I decided to get a head start on the week. It started by looking through a few files in search of something I needed. I still can't tell you what that was. It seemed all I was finding was the stuff I didn't need. Nor could I figure out why I had been saving it.

I tossed those aside until the pile toppled over. The next thing I knew I  was sitting on the floor in front of my shredder watching the unnecessary transform into thin strips of confetti. 

I fell into a  Zen - feeding in just enough paper not to jam or overheat the machine - before I emptied the tray into a giant Hefty trash bag and started again.

I can't quite explain the sense of peace this gives me. The feeling is never replicated when I do it electronically. Hitting a delete button on my iMac or dragging a file to the trash basket are not a substitute for the tactical release of stuff I once thought important enough to fill a file folder and now constitute junk in my life. 



note: This is Day #29 of the 30 Day Experiment. Tomorrow is the last day! Don't miss it!   Here are the details on how it all started.

  

Put A Big Red Ribbon Around The Year...Or Not

I’ve always been one who likes to put things in boxes. Seal them up with a ribbon and put them on a shelf. From projects to relationships that have run their course.  My friend Moon refers to it as cleaning things up. Others call it closure or ending cycle. So as the last days of 2011 are upon us that is what I am drawn to do with this year. Put it in a box, tie a big red ribbon around it and because I am that organized, label it. 2011: Evolving.

That was the word I chose back in January. It was what I wanted this year to be about. Evolving. And that has held true. I evolved from writer to published author. I learned how to take a manuscript to book form, both electronically and in print. In that process I rediscovered the parts of my corporate career I still enjoyed, like selling and marketing. I could still experience the thrill of looking for markets that might buy what I have to peddle and the rush when the right ones are linked.  I evolved enough to be able to go back and take a look inside the box I had been refusing to, the one labeled corporate life and see what was inside I still could use. I discovered there were still aspects of that I had not lost my passion for and I was good at. 

I realized that in addition to being a writer and a business coach, I am a connector of people, and a wealth of information. I am an agent of change who loves to share what she knows and help others to create their own change. I evolved to a new version of myself, hopefully combining the best of what was with what has changed.

Some of you may have known all this  already. Some of you may have been on to my shift for a while.  But part of my evolution in 2011, was me owning it. 

So the question, with just a few days left of the year of evolving becomes, do I pack it all away in a box, tie another ribbon  and shelve this year as I have done so many times before ? 


I think not.

I think it is time to evolve my thought process on that as well. Instead I will sort through the events and the lessons, the ups and the downs, the successes and the blips of 2011 and decide what needs to be  put in the shredder, what needs to be saved and what I take with me moving forward.   

Among the many lessons I have learned this year is that while we can bring closure and “clean things up” on  chapters of our lives, those boxes that house those scenes can never be completely sealed shut. They hold lessons that  we need to remember and parts of us that we will build upon moving forward. Even information we can use again on another day in another year. Or people we might at some point want to or need to invite back in. 

Perhaps the thing is not to put a ribbon on the year and store it away but to organize the box that is 2011. 
Ask ourselves questions.
What did you learn? 
What will you take moving forward? 
What parts are you letting go of freely and completely? 
Did the year live up to your word? 
And what will your new word be for 2012?

I have a preference for verbs here. Mostly because they imply action. And as a change catalyst I know words are not enough without steps. My word for 2012 is being seen, which technically is two words. But perhaps that is what I have evolved to. Perhaps one word is just not enough anymore.


Happy New Year!

What is your word for 2012?     Is one enough?

Letting Go

I recently got rid of the television in my bedroom. I had been looking at it for a long time wondering why I still kept it there. I know enough about energy and Feng Shui that bedrooms are for sleeping and sex and not for television. But still this small, old and cumbersome model sat in its corner on top of a high dresser.

I never watched it. I used to in the morning while I was getting ready before I headed downtown to the office, switching from Pat Kiernan to the Today Show to GMA. But my mornings are not so rushed anymore and if I watch the news shows, I'd rather on the flat screen in the living room.

Every month when I got my Time Warner bill and saw the $12.95 fee for the box I remembered I needed to do something about this. Not only was it sitting unused and taking up space  but what I was paying could be better spent on a manicure.

I don't know what made me finally unplug it and carry it to the trash room a few weeks ago. The last couple of years have been alot about letting go. And I suspect I was in one of my moods where I needed to let go of something concrete as a gesture to the Universe that I was making more room for the new.

When that happens I have to act right then and there which is why  the next thing I did was  get on the bus  and return the box to 96th Street instead of waiting for someone to pick it up.  I may procrastinate and think things through for a very long time before letting go but when I make the decision I do it immediately.

I thought it would be a clean and easy break between me and the television.  What I didn't anticipate was all the soot on the wall behind where it had lived all these years. I might not have been turning it on, but it had been collecting dirt in places that were not obvious to me.  Dark grey soot.

After getting over my horror that I had been sleeping with that much dust, I took a damp sponge to the wall. That only made the mess worse, not to mention made me second guess the whole idea of getting rid of it.

After trying an array of products and googling ways to clean up soot, it was a box of  Mr. Clean Magic Erasers that did the trick. Why they may not be considered 'green friendly' they are definitely magic!

I was thinking about this letting go thing this morning as I lay in bed looking at the spot.  Some days it looks a little empty, all that new space. As if something more than the books and orchid that now occupy it is needed. Today I was sure I could see one more streak that needed my magic eraser.

But then that is the thing about letting go. It's always hard even when you know it is the right thing to do. Even the anticipation of what new will take its place doesn't necessarily make you miss it any less. Whether it is a thing like my television, that bulky black and white turtle neck sweater I have not worn in five years but I still make room for in my closet every winter, a job or a relationship, it's never easy. Something always lingers behind. Sometimes a memory, sometimes a grey streak on the wall.


Do you have trouble letting go?
Is it as hard to let go of things as it is people?
Is there anything you are letting go of today to make room for more?