Monday, February 2, 2009

Out of the Dark

For years I woke in the dark, the alarm set at 5AM in the hopes that by 5:30 I would have gotten myself up out of bed. The degree of darkness at that time of day in NYC varies from a winter shade so black that you can barely see out your window, to that in summer, when the sun is already streaking through the midnight blue to morning.

I taught myself to like getting up early. I had no choice. At some point in my life in the corporate world I got that the only way to accomplish all that I needed was to start the day with an edge. I did not do it because I believed that being an early bird was going to garner me the proverbial worm or some such equivalent. It was purely time management.

And it worked.

I marvel when I think of all I used to accomplish in a day. It takes a lot of coordinating to try and lead a balanced life. While that word, balance, implies some sort of Zen state, the attempts to get there can often feel like more like running a relay race. Getting up before the sun did proved to be my answer.

These days I move slower. The sun is my alarm and not my clock radio. While I have my days when I feel I am the same task mistress I have always been, I never feel like I have accomplished as much as I used to.

But maybe that is because I am comparing it to that life when a day was all about measuring how much got done, not necessarily what. The quantity was so paramount that it left little time to think about the quality.

Now when I get up before the sun it is more from the enjoyment of it and not the burden of all that needs to get done that day. I still think it gives me an edge. After all, it’s not noon yet and I have already posted a blog !
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