Are You Too Old?

I've had it in the back of my mind that in addition to my blogging and novel writing I wanted to add one more something to my repertoire. My plan from the moment I left Corporate America has always been for multiple streams of income.

I haven't talked about it here. But I have been planning another stream. In face I have been working just this week to add a page to this blog with more information on what that will look like. Then this morning as I was sitting at a table at the 85Broads breakfast, when it was my turn to introduce myself, out of my mouth slipped my first soft launch. I am a novelist, blogger and coach.

Yes, Coach.

One of the things I have learned in the last year and a half is that many people just don't know what to do when faced with a pink slip. Others dream of having the courage to leave their job on their own and go off and do what they have always wanted to do. Others still don't know what that is. Some like what they do and where they are but are feeling stagnant and ready to reposition themselves for what's next. Then there are those who just think they are too old to do anything different.

It is such a scary place. Trust me, I have been there more than once. Too scary to navigate on your own. A person needs guidance, a road map and most of all coaching that yes, they will win at whatever they create as what's next. Which is how I came to decide to add on a coaching practice. But more about that in another blog. Let me get back to the point of this one.

I offered up my experience and vision for my coaching practice. One of the women fell into the category of worrying that she was too old to do anything different.

I cringed as she said it. I remembered when a few years into teaching school I thought I was too old to try something new. I was twenty four! In retrospect that was an insane thought. But it was my thought then as it was hers now.

But it got me thinking, what is too old? Are you ever too old to make a change? Or is change the antidote to aging?

A Lesson in Passion From Betty White

Betty White is 88. She got into the business at the age of 17 and has never stopped working. In an industry that does not look fondly on women as they grow gray, she has managed to keep herself gainfully employed. Her most recent big screen role was in The Proposal with Sandra Bullock. According to IMDB there is a TV series in pre-production and another movie scheduled for a Fall release. Did I mention she was 88?

I watched her as she was honored for Lifetime Achievement at the SAG awards this weekend. It was clear what propels her and what has continued to keep her interested in what she has done for the last 71 years. You could see it in her face before she articulated it. Passion. She found work that she was passionate about, work that never ceased to surprise and inspire her. Her desire to continue to find people who would give her the venue in which to work her craft has been stronger than the industry who prefers youth.

Watching Betty White inspired me. She reminded me that when you are truly passionate about your work you never stop wanting to do it. There is a line in one of my very favorite movies, Dangerous Beauty that came to mind. "It's the wanting that keeps us alive." In Betty's case it's kept her young and kept her working.

The Elusive Search For Security

There is a great quote by Eve Ensler in her interview in the magazine section of today's
New York Times. When asked if she ever yearns for security now that she is 56 her answer is "Security isn't what I hunger for. I hunger for change. I hunger for connection. I hunger for good sex."

While the response followed a previous question concerning her marital status, it occurred to me that the search for security is also what stops so many from reinventing where they are. "Security", if there really is such a thing is what ties people not just to relationships that are not good matches, but to jobs. The idea of security is an elusive search. Yet we think it is something we need to have. And once we get to what we think security is, we hold on desperately, afraid it might slip through our fingers. In that holding on, we stagnate. We fail to grow. And too often the grip makes our hands hurt so much that it breaks whatever we thought was our security.

But if like Eve Ensler, your response is to hunger for change, connection and of course, good sex, you stay in the flow. You grow, you open, you live joyously. And in a bizarre twist, you are given much more than the illusion of security could ever give.

Circling My Keyboard

I told a friend of mine who is a new blogger the other day that blogging is good writing practice. I don't always listen to my own advice, but I am going to today. You see, Monday I sent off the latest version of my manuscript to my agent. Since then I have been wandering aimlessly, circling my keyboard, unable to write much of anything. That's where I've been in case you were wondering. Circling my keyboard.

It's a dance I have become familiar with since I started writing full time. I sit in front of the computer, my hands cannot move, and suddenly I am convinced that there is not another word left in me to say to anyone. ( I hear you laughing, but it is the truth!)

I keep thinking I need to go back to the manuscript. Read it again and try and guess what my agent's feedback will be. Hope she loves it! Hope she says it is ready to put on the street, or at least very close. But I know better. It's only been a day and a half. I need to let it simmer and go write something else. So I wander near that keyboard and instead of sitting in front of it, I do my circle dance. The one in which I think I have no more words to write.

I admit to feeling a little lonely without my characters, especially Darlene. She is the protagonist in the story. I have spent the better part of the last fifteen months with her. It feels a little strange not to be thinking up her next scene, dressing her in an outfit, or wondering what she is thinking.

I know, it's only been a day and a half and the chances that my agent and the editor she sells this to will not want at least a little tweaking are pretty slim. Yes, I am probably being melodramatic, but I am a writer. How could anyone be a writer without be able to conjure up a little drama on the spot? Besides I told you in advance this was writing practice. I wasn't promising a real blog. I just wanted to make sure I did still have some words in me.