Too Scary to Write

#Trust30 30-day writing challenge from ralphwaldoemerson.me.

The Quote

The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them. Ralph Waldo Emerson

The  Writing Prompt
Emerson says: “Always do what you are afraid to do.” What is ‘too scary’ to write about? Try doing it now.
(Author: Mary Jaksch)

My response

I think what is too scary for me to write about are my own terrors. Not the made up ones in the mind of a character in a fictional story I concoct or even those of others I observe in daily life. But my own. The real life terrors that creep into my head that divert me from my writing. Those fears that all I am working on will implode, that I will be alone forever, that I am not enough, not  good enough, smart enough or engaging enough to inspire. That the naysayers could turn out to be right and I should have just kept working in the field I was in, no matter how little it fed my soul and tore away at my creativity.

My horror is if I put them down on paper they have a chance of becoming real. Yet even as I write this I find myself smiling at how little substance they really have. I can see them losing their power and evaporating in a puff of smoke in front of me. All by owning up to them.

So why then not write about what we are most afraid to every day?