Never Too Old For Adventure!

One of my pet peeves is when people tell me they are too old for something. Too old to learn to ski, to stay out past midnight, to fall in love, to change jobs, to lose weight, to get in shape, to wear a bikini, to have wild, crazy sex.

Back when I was selling, if a prospective client said they really liked our station but they just didn't have the money, we knew we had not uncovered the real objection. Buying is never about having the money. If you really want something, whether it is an ad schedule on the station or a new pair of Cole Han boots, you'll find the money.

I say the same thing holds true for using age as a reason not to do something. If your choice is not to do it, give me the real reason. Maybe you're too scared, maybe you're afraid you'll fail,  but don't tell me you're too old.

And if you need a little proof let me introduce you to  Shari Nedler. Shari is the mom of my friend Karen Quinn, author and founder of Testing Mom. Right now Shari is off on a cruise around the world. By herself!  In fact as of today she is somewhere in Tasmania.

How old is Shari? As a girlfriend of mine who grew up in Alabama used to tell me, a true Southern woman never tells her real age,  so we'll pretend Shari is a southern girl. Suffice it to say, if she is old enough to be Karen's Mom, she is old enough to be mine and that qualifies as not as young as we all used to be.

But I digress. Shari had planned this trip with her boyfriend Marvin, a man she met after Karen's Dad passed away. They set sail over a year ago and not too far into the trip Marvin got sick. They had to go home and not long after Marvin passed away.

Shari initially had no intentions of taking this cruise again, much less traveling by herself. But she had what  I like to call a lot of appetite. That desire won over those, including herself who might have said she was too old to be taking a cruise around the world by herself.

Although she's not really alone. Karen and her brothers are joining her at selected ports. And Shari is blogging her adventures. If you'd like to keep up with Shari you can subscribe to her blog through RSS. She'll remind you everyday that you are never too old, for anything, especially adventures!


Do you think you are too old to do something? 
Or do you defy what others say and not let age stop you? 

Oh The Noise Out There!

It's really noisy out there. So noisy that it's hard to get much of anything done unless you shut it all off.

The Middle East, in which it seems a new country a day is added to the list of unrest. Wisconsin, in which Democrats are on the run to prevent a quorum vote so the Republicans cannot take away the Unions right to collective bargaining.  Republicans everywhere forgetting the reason they got control of the House in the Fall was to create more jobs and get the economy going, not eliminate them and get sidetracked with attacks on Planned Parenthood without actually understanding the good this organization does.

Then there is a rumor the federal government could shut down if a spending bill is not passed which is almost as rampant as the one that Dancing With The Stars, with a penchant for signing on Republicans with no real stardom but lots of bad choices (think Tom DeLay and Bristol Palin) has offered Christine O'Donnell a slot to compete for the Mirrorball trophy.

It makes my head hurt just to write about it. But I had to. I have been off trying to get work done. I needed full concentration so I kept myself away from anything but the headlines, even this blog. I needed the time away without distraction. I needed to get things done.

Until today.

Today I am catching up. I am back.

Is it there too much noise out there for you?
How do you manage it?

I Will

It's not often that I get my hands on a book that I cannot put down. The kind that makes me push everything else aside until I finish. But that is what happened when I picked up The Long Run.

The truth is I didn't pick up the book. It was given to me at an 85Broads breakfast last week at which the author Matt Long spoke. I didn't know much about Matt's story save the blurb that came with the invitation. Matt was a runner. He was also a firefighter. Matt was the one who got hit by the bus during the NYC Transit strike in 2005.

I had a vague recollection of the story. I was still working at NY1 News then. It was one of those stories that had the newsroom talking, that I as the sales director would watch repeated over and over as it unfurled in that quintessential NY1 way. An illegal transit workers strike and now a tragic accident connected to it.

But the only other thing I knew about Matt's story was that Janet Hanson had read it and was taken enough to get him to come speak Thursday morning.

Looking at Matt, save a bit of a limp you would never know a bus had run over his body just five years ago and that he had been given a 5% chance to live. Well pressed and fit he looked like the typical sucessful NY businessman.

But there is nothing typical about Matt. Before the accident Matt had been a marathon runner qualifying for Boston and an Ironman triathlete. He was a firefighter with a degree in business who owned three bars in Manhattan, the most successful, Third and Long.

His excellent physical shape gave his body the strength to fight off death. And then there is his spirit.  When you hear him speak and then read his story, it is very apparent that this is a man who loves life and believes he can do whatever his mind sets itself on.  Matt had no intention of limiting himself to being a survivor. He was going to run again, no matter what anyone told him.

Matt is an inspiration to us all, not just to those who have suffered life altering injuries or illnesses. So many of us give up on some dream or goal we have because someone else tells us we can't have that. We don't believe in ourselves enough to feel the possibility. We sabotage ourselves by avoiding what we need to do to make it happen.

Matt Long saw the end result. For him it was running the NYC Marathon again. He took the steps necessary. He enlisted the support and guidance of experts in the field. He surrounded himself with his very large community of family and friends. He kept his fears and doubts at bay and the naysayers far enough out of reach to have their way with him. He did the work. Three years after the accident, in November 2008, Matt crossed the finish line.

Matt's life revolves around inspiring others with his story. He founded the I Will Foundation dedicated to helping those who have suffered life altering injuries or illnesses.

Their home page reads:

no longer will I wish...
no longer will I want...
from now on...
I will.


I think that about says it all.


What end result can you see in your future?
What will you do to make it happen?

Love

I found myself in conversation about boys, love and online dating with the 25 year old nurse practitioner in my dermatologist's office last week. A stunning young girl with a  couple of fancy degrees and a complexion worthy of working for a dermatologist I have to say I was a little taken back when she told me she was on Match.  Yes, the stigma associated with online dating has gone the way of rotary phones. But she's only 25.  At her age shouldn't it be as simple as walking down the street for her to meet a guy?

She scrunched up that beautiful face of hers as she told me it's really hard out there. I agreed with her. It is hard, much harder for her generation than it was for mine. Life was slower then.  Technology was not as big a part of our lives. If a guy took your number you waited at home for him to call you or you might miss him. You didn't go out with your girlfriends with your phone in your purse.

People had to talk to each other more if they wanted to connect. They had to leave the house and go to  parties instead of flirting in their pajamas in front of a computer screen. People were forced to  pay attention to their surroundings and see if someone interesting might be standing next to them instead of listening for the sound of a text, email or call emanating from a purse. They had more questions to ask on a first date because there was no on line profile to read in advance. There was no GPS, no 4Square or Twitter  that could allow you to find anyone, anywhere. There was no Facebook to check relationship status and photos of where he was when not with you.

There isn't as much privacy anymore. Worse there isn't as much mystery. And personally, I like a little mystery in my romance.

It's harder for her generation than it was for mine. But maybe it's always harder when you're 25.

At 25  you are just starting to realize love doesn't necessarily come as easily as we'd been told it would. It's that time when you still want to believe in storybook romance but are starting to see those perfect loves only live in prose.  It's when you start to worry you may never meet that one great love to last a lifetime.

I wanted to tell her it would all be OK.  I wanted her to know that real life love gets messy and that's OK. That means you're really loving and really living. That love comes more than once if you keep your heart open. Each time it's different and often better. Some loves last a long time and some a brief second. Some leave you hurting for a while but they always leave you hungering for more. I wanted her to know love happens unexpectedly and never when you force it. That once you've loved someone they will always keep a little piece of your heart, that there is no age limit on love and it rarely looks the way the world tells you it's supposed to.  I wanted her to know there is no one way things are supposed to look.

I wanted her to know there is so much love to have and give beyond romantic love. Parental love, family love, the love of really great friends, and if you are extraordinarily lucky the love of your work.

But I knew that she would have to live the years to understand what I've learned. And I knew at her age, I wouldn't have wanted to hear any of it much less believe it.

So I left her with the best advice I could. What I wished someone had convinced me of at 25. That until you really learn to love yourself, the parts that are easy to and the parts that are more difficult to embrace, until you can really stand in a place of loving you, of looking in the mirror and noticing what is right instead of what's wrong, you can never fully love another person. She told me that's what her therapist told her.

Happy Valentine's Day !

What have you learned of love?
What do you wish someone had convinced your younger self?
Is it only experience that teaches us?