How Grown-Ups Act When Negotiating

Negotiation is one of those skills it's wise to get good at. And not just if your chosen profession involves high end deal making.

We all negotiate. Every day. With someone about something. 

I negotiate with my mother trying to get her to remember to drink more water, with myself over how many times this week I want to exercise, with my friend over where we will have dinner and whether we are drinking white or red tonight. Negotiation is not limited to striking a deal over money.

I've offered negotiation tips here before. I'm not alone. If you Google Negotiation Skills there are 11,700,000 results. Negotiation Strategies - 6,070,000. Negotiation Tactics - 6,210,00. A virtual wealth of information - for free.

Not everyone takes advantage of free. Not everyone looks to improve their negotiation skills. Congress reminds us every day of that. And now we have as David Carr in The New York Times so aptly put it "the self serving war of words by 2 giants in television." That would be CBS and Time Warner Cable.


So what happens when companies become too big to remember how to negotiate ?  

They forget to act like grown-ups.

1- Grown-ups don't go stomping their feet, slamming the door in your face and then refuse to sit at the same table and work things out.
2- Grown-ups don't try to enlist other people to come to their rescue by running accusatory ads about each other and begging customers to make phone calls on their behalf. 
3- Grown-ups don't underestimate the intelligence of the public. They know no one is going to feel more sorry for the company who reported $476 million in second quarter earnings than the one who reported $481 million.
4- Grown-ups know no matter how popular a show is, it no longer constitutes the leverage it used to. Nor ever will again. Those days are long behind us. They wouldn't run ridiculous ads implying our lives might end if we have to do without.  (So I missed Ray Donovan last night. I'll marathon watch when these two settle their school yard fight.)
5- Grown-ups don't pretend to be doing something for the greater good of the consumer and then go so low as to detect my ISP connection and block me so I can't watch on my iPad either. 
6-Grown-ups know the world is in disruption. They work on improving and building today's already fickle customer relationships. They don't consciously and deliberately add more smear to the ones already tarnished. They know there are other options - other shows to watch on other networks and other providers to get their connections through. And there is more on the way.
7- Grown-ups know everyone is on to the high drama. We've seen this act before. Eventually they will come to some sort of resolution. They need each other as much as they need the customer.
8-Grown-ups know when they are acting like a bunch of children.  And they get over it - fast - no matter how big their paycheck is or how much power they think they wield. 



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6 Tips To Remember When Negotiating

Any sales person worth their paycheck will tell you that negotiation is the most fun and exhilarating part of the sales process.

Two sides meet. We assume they want to reach a deal, one they can both feel good about. They go in knowing what they want, in order of importance. They'd like to get everything on their wish list, but they know that a good deal is going to involve compromise. So they come prepared knowing what they are willing to give up. Good negotiation is about building relationships, so if they're smart they leave their egos at the door and try to find something, even when it's hard, to like about the other side.

I've always been a big believer that if you know how to sell and you get really good at negotiation you can be successful in almost any  endeavor. Because really, all of life is about compromising and striking deals, whether it is how to not fall off a "fiscal cliff" or deciding with your significant other where to go for Thanksgiving Dinner.

With this "fiscal cliff" looming before us, not to mention lots of holiday events worthy of serious compromise on the horizon, I thought it appropriate to offer a quick refresher on the subject.

1. Your job is get a deal done. It is a reflection of you. In the world of sales, if you don't know how to get a deal done you don't get to keep your job.
2. Keep things simple. The more complicated things get the less people will be willing to concede, mostly because they don't fully understand or will worry you are trying to pull something over on them.
3. Always think Win-Win. No need to get greedy. The best negotiations are when both sides feel good about the outcome.
4. Negotiation is compromise.  A good negotiator will always ask for more than what they want. Expect that. Know your boundaries in advance. What's most important to you and what you are willing to concede on.
5. Be reasonable. Don't bring your ego to the meeting. As hard as it might be, try to understand the other side's perspective. Part of good selling is building relationships
6. Negotiation is a game.  Don't get so serious that you are have blinders on to possible solutions.  Bring a little levity into things. Laughter breaks up negative energy and is often just what is needed to break through a tough spot and get back to the business at hand.

"All of life is about compromising and striking deals." 

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