But this time I had my reasons. For starters I have been running a full schedule and working on some exciting stuff that has been commandeering my creative process. More to come on that later.
But the most important reason is I had one of those moments. You know those moments. When something happens to cause your world to spin out of control.
That's what happened to me.
Literally.
One minute it was just another Friday. People to see. Places to be. The next I was at the gym, stretching out on the mat, listening to Bruno Mars when I turned from right to left and everything in the room started to move. No matter where I tried to focus a piece of gym equipment was in a tailspin.
I knew what it was. It's happened before - but I hadn't had a real episode of vertigo in years.
If you've never experienced vertigo, at first it feels like a very bad hangover complete with nausea. All you want to do is stay in a darkened room and sleep. Except that even the worst of worst of hangovers is more manageable.
Luckily my gym is in my building so I didn't have far to navigate my off balance self into the elevator.
Once inside my apartment I fell onto my bed and did what one does when they get vertigo. Try and find the one position that does not make the room spin, close your eyes and don't move. Not one fraction of an inch. The slightest little shift the wrong way and you are back on the Ferris Wheel at top speed.
I was dizzy. I was nauseous. But I was also angry. I did not have time for this.
I tried to will it away. I tried to convince myself I was more powerful than the vertigo. I wanted to control it instead of it controlling me.
But it wasn't happening.
There was nothing I could do but just be.
Be still.
Be quiet.
No Internet.
No television.
No conversation.
A lot of sleep.
A lot of time to think.
Before you know it Friday had turned to Saturday and I was still in my bed. The worst of the vertigo had passed, but I felt fragile. I was functional but I was far from off to the races again.
It was clear the furthest away from my bed I was going to get for the rest of the weekend was the couch.
The really good news was I could focus enough to read. I picked up the book I had started earlier in the week. Thrive by Arianna Huffington. And everything started to make sense.
Arianna talks about these kinds of moments in her book. When something happens that causes you to step back and reassess what you are doing. Sometimes they are truly life altering and sometimes they are more nudges and reminders you have fallen off track.
Mine was a big reminder. I suppose my vertigo could have been spurred by a virus or inner ear congestion. But I think differently. My body was reacting to the pace I've been keeping. I had let myself disconnect with my core. So much so that it did what it does when it wants to make sure I pay attention. It gets very Greek and does something very dramatic.
And just in case I might still have refused to see the obvious, it made sure that the book I just happened to have started reading was about well-being, wisdom, wonder and giving.
I finished the book that weekend and have been regrouping ever since.
Which explains the lack of blogging.
I'm still moving slowly. Vertigo likes to linger after it comes to visit. But that's okay. Especially in this case. It wants to make sure I don't forget too quickly the message it came to send.
Note - If you haven't yet, make sure you get a copy of Thrive. This is a wonderful and important book you don't want to miss!
EXTRA SPECIAL NOTE - Register for the Thrive event in NYC on April 24-25 and use the discount code Rep99 at checkout. The $299 tickets become $99! It's going to be a powerful and inspiring conference - one you don't want to miss!
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