Life Is So Funny

Life is so funny.  You set off to do one thing and that leads to another and yet another. Still uncertain of the circuitous path you are taking you learn to say yes to what feels right and no to what does not. 

And then one day you find yourself standing on stage in a ballroom in the Hotel Sofitel in Redwood Shores just down the street from the offices of companies with names like Oracle, Salesforce and Electronic Arts,  speaking to a group of entrepreneurs who are all part of the largest women's online community, BlogHer.  

Your topic is selling - that part of you that you thought you left behind when you closed the door to your corporate office for the last time.

What is even stranger is that it feels so right. As if all the energy centers you had invested yourself in had suddenly joined together to create your very own perfect storm.

When I think about it I can't help but giggle.

Me. 

The shy kid who literally clung to her mother's skirts - afraid to be seen much less heard. Who grew up amidst the noise, laughter and constant chatter of a big, fat Greek family that I was sure would never hear me even if I tried. 

So I didn't.

I kept my thoughts inside my head - finding safety only in the written word and a few very close friends, until the day my tenth grade English teacher, Mr. Keyes picked my essay to read aloud to our class.  I tried to crawl under the table. I don't recall what I wrote about but I still remember my surprise afterwards when my classmates told me how good it was. And that I wanted to believe them - but I didn't.

As it was - I was far from ready to be heard. Really heard. 

Over time, I stopped hiding. I learned to speak with ease. I learned not to be afraid to hear my own voice. I taught. I sold. I managed people. I gained confidence. But what I really thought, my views and perspective on what I thought important - that I kept inside the pile of  journals that were quickly accumulating.

Until one day - November 18, 2008 -  I started a blog.  And just like that I had readers. Readers who gave me assurances I could write and should - more and more of my truths. About life. About business. I had a place to share my stories. That's when it started to shift.

I've spoken many times before. In conference rooms, classrooms, to groups of varying sizes. But last Tuesday was the first time I spoke in a real hotel ballroom, on a stage with one of those mikes that clips on to your clothes. 

The funniest thing was I wasn't  afraid. 

Not really. 

I had just the right amount of fear. The kind  that I told the audience you use to propel yourself forward - not the kind that makes you stand still.

I felt something shift - yet again. I'm still not entirely clear on what that was but I do know that the nugget of an idea I've had for my next book took form. 

A week later and I am still surprised how much I enjoyed it. How right it felt to share what I know about business, about selling, about digital tools and marketing on a stage to a group that was mostly women sprinkled with a few good men. 

And when people tweeted nice things and told me after how much they enjoyed my talk I didn't second guess them. 

Like I said. Something shifted.

Life is so funny. 

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Blurred Lines

Someone asked me the other day to clarify who I consulted with. He wanted to know if I worked with individuals or organizations.

I said yes.

I don't think he was happy with the answer. I understand that. Within the traditional corporate structure - which is where he works - we are not interested in blurred lines. We want everything and everyone to fit into a box in a clearly defined hierarchy.

That is her job.

This is his job.

We like flow charts and job descriptions so one person does not interfere in another's playground.

But that's not how it works in real life. Not anymore.

Digital tools and the power of the Internet have blurred the lines. 

When I started selling no one in marketing liked the sales department. No one in public relations liked marketing. And IT - that was reserved for things like invoicing and had nothing to do with any of the above.

They were all silos that stood alone in the field.

No more.

Sales, Marketing and PR intersect and are lost without IT.

The same was true of  your professional and your personal life. The ability to check your work emails on Sunday in between the soccer game and a walk in the park did not exist in the last century. Those things waited until Monday. 

Clear lines of distinction.

Easier then. More complex now.

The more it changes, the more blurred the lines become.  

A digital strategy is necessary for the organization and the brand. But it's also something that every individual who wants to stay marketable within and without their company  needs to have.

As for who I work with - to be clear - the line is blurred.






I will be speaking at BlogHerPro a conference for professionally-minded online influencers interested in taking their business, marketing and technical skills to the next level. If that's you join me there and use promo code PRO13FF for 30% off BlogHer Pro '13 Registration!



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The Way It Was

There I was. Mingling at an event hosted by Claudia Chan trying not to think about how much my feet were hurting after being in my heels all day, when someone heard me say I used to work for CBS Radio and wanted to know where. 

Within minutes after discovering she was at WODS in Boston when I was at WOGL in Philly we were off on a trip down memory lane as we discovered the many connections we had in common. Each name had a memory attached. A funny story. A laugh. A smile. I was transported to that time when I knew what it was like to know real community in the workplace.  When going to work was about so much more than just the paycheck and the benefits. When "people" were still considered an asset to a corporation and not merely a line item. When you could really have a career path - if you wanted one. When you got promoted, the first thing you were supposed to decide was who you were grooming to take your place when you got your next promotion.

Selling radio when I started was boot camp training for understanding business in general. I was trained to be a "marketing consultant" not merely a salesperson. I learned to listen to clients and figure out how my station could solve their problems.  I learned how to write copy and create promotions. I had to learn just enough to be dangerous about how a multitude of industries operated. It was where I learned that all advertising would work. It was just up to me to convince the client why our station would work best. 

It was also where I learned how to manage with integrity amidst a lot of noise. Radio stations - especially music stations were never quiet places. The soundtrack in the offices was the same one we sent out over the airwaves. It stayed on- all day - every day - if  for no other reason than to assure everyone we were still on the air. 

Maybe all that music infused in our psyches was part of the reason we were all so happy to be at work.

This - of course- was before the Reagan era of deregulation when the focus went off the product and the people and shifted to EBITDA and stock prices.

Then it all changed. 

The sense of community fostered within the radio station and connection to the sister stations in other markets was hard to replicate as consolidation brought the fear of job cuts and the "every person for themselves era."

But while we reminisced about a time that makes me smile - still - as I type this post - I wasn't thinking about what came after. I had even stopped thinking about how much my feet hurt. 

I was awash in memories of crazy client promotions, live remotes, pink Cadillacs, and friends I made for life. And feeling extraordinarily lucky to have been a part of it all. 







I will be speaking at BlogHerPro a conference for professionally-minded online influencers interested in taking their business, marketing and technical skills to the next level. If that's you join me there and use promo code PRO13FF for 30% off BlogHer Pro '13 Registration!



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The Things I Worry About

I try not to worry. My smart self knows it solves nothing and that my energy would be better spent doing something constructive. Like exercise. Or prayer. Or meditation. Reaching for a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on.

My mother has made a career of worrying. So I've seen what it can do. How it can consume you. Sometimes freeze you in your tracks. 

So I'd like to think I know better. But not always. 

I have my moments. When the inclination to worry won't let go until it is firmly implanted in my psyche and starts getting in my way. At first I don't realize it. But then I catch myself in the mirror and see the crease that is etched in my forehead and that forced smile. 

And I know.

My worrying is trying to immobilize me. 

This is one of those moments. 

I've been trying not to worry about this mess. The optimist in me wanted to believe these people would come to their senses and see their own foolishness. But I was wrong. It just keeps going on.

So I worry.


I worry about the craziness that is our government.
I worry about the things that come out of the mouths of the people who are supposed to be watching out for the rest of us.
I worry that we have forgotten that "we the people" means all the people.
I worry about the example this shutdown is setting for our children.
I worry we are not educating our people and this is the result.
I worry that we are not teaching negotiation.
I worry we are not teaching people how to properly read and interpret documents like the Constitution.
I worry there are too many egotistical men elected to office.
I worry there are too many more concerned with getting their way than doing the right thing.
I worry how ridiculous we look to the rest of the world - who until recently held our model as the highest standard.
I worry that we have put business and making money too far ahead of caring for our citizens.
I worry that health care has become a business more concerned with how much money it makes than health.
I worry elected officials are being paid under the table by extremists and special interest groups to get their way.
I worry that guns are in the hands of the wrong people.
I worry that the Republican Party will fall apart because the sane Republicans are being outspent and outmaneuvered.
I worry about no Republican Party because a two party system is necessary in a democracy.
I worry that the Tea Party are obstructionists.
I worry that too much time is being spent on not funding a law and not enough on the real problems we are facing like education and terrorism and job creation.
I worry not enough people care about this mess.
I worry that John Boehner's face is getting so red he might explode and his replacement might even be worse.
I worry that there is still too much racism in this country.
I worry that I would rather get my news from Jon Stewart because it's less upsetting than anywhere else.
I worry about news channels that have forgotten how to report news.
I worry that this blog is off point today and not at all about demystifying digital or marketing or business or life.
I worry that I might lose a reader or two as a result.
I worry that writing about my worries is not enough to make a difference.

But it's worth a try!








I will be speaking at BlogHerPro a conference for professionally-minded online influencers interested in taking their business, marketing and technical skills to the next level. If that's you join me there and use promo code PRO13FF for 30% off BlogHer Pro '13 Registration!



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What Can Happen To You In My Voicemail

I have a friend who refuses to text. She's not much for email communication either. Her Facebook profile is just that. A profile. Not much interaction. So except for the rare times we see each other I don't know much about what goes on in her life.

This poses a couple of problems. 

The voice mail she left on my cellphone the other day was listened to while I was on the run. She needed a mutual friend's address. Which I had and was happy to give her. 

The problem was I forgot until two days later when I saw her name in my list of recent calls. That can happen to voicemails. They can get lost - like socks in the dryer - if you don't keep your eyes on them.

I would have texted her the information but as I said - she doesn't text. So I emailed. Even though I know how slow she is to retrieve it. She didn't give me any other choice.

The truth is I don't have the time to return the phone call so I can read out loud - s-l-o-w-l-y - what she needs while she writes it down. Not today. Probably not tomorrow. 

The phone is just not an efficient use of my time. Yes, I still use it and think there are times when it is a refreshing choice and will make the most impact - but the list of people I speak to on the phone continues to shrink. It is reserved for my mother (who as you know has no computer), a few select friends and clients with money to spend. Even my brother who I am in communication with almost every single day over something having to do with Mom rarely gets a phone call or vice versa. But texting? All day. Every day.

According to Adam Singer at The Future Buzz,  the Harvard Business Review has decided ( as he had already) that voicemail is irrelevant. I would not go so far as to use the word irrelevant - but I would say - as I already did - that it is inefficient.

It's nice to hear someone's voice. I love getting on the phone for long visits with my friend in Australia and my cousins who live in California. I don't get to see them that often and it is a great and still relevant way for us to connect. But when I need a question answered or information and I need it now - I text or I email - depending exactly how urgent the request is. 

That's the beauty of digital technology - making your life easier.

Had she done that what she needed would have been delivered as soon as I read it. But she didn't. 

She's one of those people who pushes against the tide of change when it comes to communication. I suppose she thinks that will make it stop - but it won't. We're too far into the age of digital now. 

Which brings me to the second problem. She should know better.  She's a marketer. 






I will be speaking at BlogHerPro a conference for professionally-minded online influencers interested in taking their business, marketing and technical skills to the next level. If that's you join me there and use promo code PRO13FF for 30% off BlogHer Pro '13 Registration!



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