Wednesday, February 8, 2012

They Won't All Love You

One of the hardest adjustments I had when I first became a manager was adjusting to the fact that not everyone was going to love me. In fact they may not even like me.

Up until then that is what I strived for. As a salesperson, one learned to go out of their way to make sure they were liked. After all no one was going to buy your wares if they didn't like you first. Even back then, in the late eighties, when the world was less cluttered, there were still a lot of media choices. Being likable helped.

Now that I was a manager, I was told not to worry about whether I was liked, as long as I was respected.  I was going to make decisions or be responsible for enforcing someone else's decisions. To think that every single person affected by my choices was going to be happy, was not just unrealistic, it was impossible. It took adjusting, but I got used to it. And the stronger I felt in myself as a professional and as a woman, the easier it became.

That is not to say that I wasn't tested. That young girl inside of me who just wanted a sense of approval by  making everyone her friend could still make an appearance. She still does. I am still tested.

Sometimes it is on a sales consulting project. Sometimes with a potential new coaching client. But the times that really test me are when it comes to reviews for my novel.

I've been lucky. Most of the reviews so far have been beyond favorable, enough to make me certain I am indeed a writer. But every now and again I get what I consider a mediocre review,  3 stars instead of 4 or 5. Or a few days go by and the Like button on Amazon hasn't moved. And I am back there. Not understanding. Unsure of my self-worth in this new place I've chosen to stand. Longing to feel the approval of being liked. Being tested. Remembering what I was taught. Remembering what I would tell a client.

They won't all love you. They won't all like you. Strive for respect.

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