Do You Believe In Magic?

Magic is underrated. We don't put much weight on it. Magic does not seem to have as much rhyme or reason to us as a spreadsheet does. It requires surrender to the unseen as well as faith. You can't touch or see magic and you certainly can't download it onto your computer screen. Or can you? If you believe in magic that might be possible.

Our information on overload world drums it  into our head that we must look at the facts, we must do the research, and base  our plans on what we come up with. It's gotten worse since the computer invaded the desktop. There are now a dozen ways to look at the same information with the click of a key.  We take the elaborate conclusions reached from  a software program that someone designed to do a calculation to be the corporate bible. We point and say, there it is! That must be the way! We discount magic but we never discount what the machine told us. We forget to think and we forget to believe.

I am not advocating not doing the work. If I don't write I don't get published.

I am not suggesting to forgo research and data. If I don't know my market, no one will buy my services.

But I am suggesting that we have to remember to look at the forest and not just the trees. The trees themselves are important. Without them there is no forest. But it is the forest in its entirety that emanates the magic, those patches of  fresh grass and pink and yellow flowers in between that popped up out of nowhere, even when someone told us the ground was not suitable.

If you want to shake up your life, whether a minor renovation or a complete overhaul, in the words of Tug McGraw, "Ya Gotta Believe." When he coined that phrase in the 1973 baseball season no one imagined that the  New York Mets would go from last place to first and win not only the division title but the National League pennant. For Tug and the Mets it was about believing they could become champs. The statistics were against them, but it didn't matter. They created magic because they believed.

This might sound too supernatural for many of you but I recommend pondering it a while. Choose to believe in some force bigger than yourself,  besides your computer and the non stop bad news emanating from the Internet, the newspaper and television. Do the work and surrender to the magic. And let me know what happens.

Tales of Reinvention: Dana Ostomel

Dana Ostomel is the Chief Gifting Officer for Deposit a Gift, an online cash gift registry site. 
This innovative new web based business takes the concept of a bridal registry and expands it to almost any event. 


Dana left the Corporate world in late 2007 after nearly a decade developing integrated marketing solutions for major brands  including Snapple, Century 21 and Mastercard to found Deposit a Gift.


The gift registry site went live this past December to rave reviews. Here's what I learned from my conversation with Dana.


Did you choose to reinvent or did  it choose you?
It was really a combination of both. In November of 2007, two months before my wedding I was downsized. I tried to find some freelance positions but it seemed everyone was looking for permanent employees. I wasn't ready to go back. At one point I was offered a really good job that I seriously considered taking, but when I remembered it would be another office with beige walls that would require a suit every day, I turned it down. At the same time we lost the apartment we thought we were going to buy.  I had the idea for Deposit a Gift for awhile. In fact I acquired the URL for it in January 2006. I talked things over with my husband. We had no debt and no kids, plus the money from the apartment. We made the decision to go for it, live on his salary and for me to launch the business.

Tell me about Deposit a Gift. It sounds like an on line desire list  for any event from a birthday to a wedding.
Deposit a Gift is an on line cash gift registry. It takes the concept of a bridal registry and expands to almost any event that might require a gift, from a baby shower to a graduation, bar mitzvah or retirement party. Our clients get to customize their own website complete with an individual web address.  It allows their guests to step inside their world. It's interesting because when there is an activity listed, like a trip, they go first. It seems gift givers like the idea of giving  the gift of an experience. They can contribute cash in any amount towards the items our clients list. We made every effort to make it  easy to use and as transparent as possible.

Where did you get the idea for a cash gift registry?
The idea had been percolating for a while, but my own experience getting married informed my decisions. I heard comments from people, like all the good gifts were gone so we didn't know what to get you, or we saw you like that brand but the bowl was gone already so we got you something else they make. This eliminates that, plus gift givers can contribute to a trip or a new addition to the house if that is what the client desires.

How has your work and education experience prepared you for this?
Again, my own wedding gave me hands on experience. Plus my background in marketing and advertising have proved invaluable for the business side. I had never built a website, but I knew how to manage a project. My corporate job had taught me how to look big picture, but still manage the details.
I created my own mood board, a collage of what I wanted the site to look like that helped tremendously working with my web designer. Plus I'm a networker. I 've been networking my whole life. You have to be able to network to set out on your own. Connections are everything.

What has been the biggest surprise concerning your reinvention?
I didn't know how hard it was going to be.

What has been the biggest obstacle?
I had to work in secret until the site  launched. Not being able to discuss my project was hard.   I was redefining myself without a title. I had always had a title.

What has come the easiest?
The project management part. I'm a great multi-tasker.

Do you have any regrets?
No, I really love it!  Plus I am very fortunate to have my husband supporting me every step of the way. He grounds me and reminds me of all I have accomplished when I forget to recognize it.

What do you love most?
I like that all my work is for me and the business. I really love my lifestyle.

What do you miss most?
Before the launch I missed having a title. but it all helped me to grow without a structure and a chain of command to give me feedback. Maybe I miss the social aspect a bit. That's why I try to make a workout class in the middle of the day.

What are you most proud of?
The actual launch in November 2009. It took almost two years. A lot of people would have given up. My husband always reminds me of that.

What advice would you give others contemplating shaking up their lives?
Surround yourself with like minded people. You cannot be around people who are negative for the sake of it. Be tenacious, have a good work ethic, those are qualities that cannot be taught. Enable yourself. Use your resources. I am a big believer in the informational interview. Get others to share what they've learned. Make connections.




Creating a Deposit a Gift website and registry is free. There is a 7.5% service fee of the total gift purchase balance which the creator can decide who pays for. 

The Art Of Pressing Pause

Breakdowns are inevitable. They are more than just a bump in the road. They usually occur when the journey has gotten so bumpy that you're starting to get nauseous. However they can also happen when you think there is only smooth sailing ahead, when out of nowhere a giant pothole  looms in front  and before you can swerve the car, you are inside of it with no clue how to get out.

A breakdown can be the signal for a Reinvention. But they are also part of Reinvention's journey. You don't get to go for your passion without having to pull off the side of the road to take a moment every now and then.

There are those who advocate never slamming on the brakes. They prefer to muddle on, without clarity of thought and  thick with the exhaustion the breakdown caused. They believe there is no gain without pain. For them the work is only about pushing ahead.

I'm not one of them.  My experience has been pushing forward when you can't see straight  only results in  walking in circles. Sometimes you have to press  pause  and take a moment to get clear.

What do you do with that moment?

Breathing is always a good start. It is very underrated but it is amazing how a few simple deep breaths can bring you back from the edge. Writing out my rage and frustration also benefits as does a particularly strenuous workout at the gym. A manicure or a silly TV show that makes me laugh or a call to a member of my cheering squad is a great antidote.  I am a big fan of trying to find not only the humor in the mess, but how you can turn it around to serve your purpose.  That doesn't work for everyone. The trick is to find what it is  that lifts you up and away from the situation so you can gain perspective.

How long to pause?

That depends on the severity of the breakdown and how well you learn to hone this skill. I recommend setting the timer, twenty minutes, an hour, the afternoon. But once you get the hang of it, the gift of the pause button is that it gives you a perspective and a chance to remember the reason you have chosen the path you did, it clears the energy, and allows you to look at something from a new angle. Then you can dive back into the work, only this time instead of trying to push that car out of a sinkhole, you are pulling it from above with the aide of a tow truck. And pulling is so much easier than pushing. Except of course when its the pause button.

In Gratitude For Willis Carrier

If you live in the North East and have not taken a moment this week to thank Willis Carrier you should . He is the man who is credited with inventing the first modern air conditioning system in 1902. The genius behind the cool air blowing through our homes and offices that has made the last few days bearable.

If you're as old as me you remember when air conditioning was considered a luxury. It was an option when you bought a car that you paid extra to get.  Schools had fans, usually near the teacher's desk which most likely she had bought herself.  If you were lucky enough to have an air conditioner at home, chances are it was only in one room of the house. In our case it was my parent's bedroom, a noisy, clunky apparatus protruding from the casement window that I begged to stand in front of. I'd argue that one of the reasons so many of my generation fell in love with the movies was that the price of a  ticket came with air conditioned comfort.

Until the late 1950s  this modern day miracle was limited to the workplace with the goal of increasing productivity. Yes we can thank Corporate America, greed and all,  for the rapid expansion and development.

It's hard to imagine getting along with something we now expect to have and to be working properly no matter what.  Especially this week.  But then  the world moved a lot slower before things like air conditioning. You didn't have to worry about getting so much accomplished in one day, so if the heat slowed you down, it was OK. People understood.

Now we take it for granted. Like so much else in our high tech, fast paced world, in which there is   a constant din of yelling and finger pointing  about all the things we think are so wrong, all the things that need to be fixed,  how bad everything is that we forget to take time to be grateful for something as simple as air conditioning. We lead pretty cushy lives but we forget that many of us had grandparents like I did, who crossed the Atlantic in a crowded ship that did not serve happy meals much less provide air conditioning.

We marvel at the miracle of the Internet and high speed communication yet a little over a hundred years ago something we consider so basic today was just as much a miracle.

So thank you Willis Carrier. My unit has been humming along this week, providing me relief and keeping me cool. I am grateful.